TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
by nightcoremoon
Summary: Equestria Girls. Rarity asks Twilight for help with her blog and Twilight finds some... interesting content. Namely, lots of lewd photography of girls in revealing outfits or even nothing at all. One of the pictures she finds is of her friend Sunset Shimmer, which is a bit of a problem considering Twilight's huge crush on Sunset. Also Midnight Sparkle is back and tormenting her.
1. TFW You're Gay and your Friends are Hot

"What's this?"

-click-

"...oh."

It started off as any normal day. Twilight Sparkle woke up, brushed her teeth, got dressed and presentable for school, and boarded the bus. She had triple checked that all her of homework was completed before pulling into Canterlot High, she had eaten breakfast in the cafeteria, she had met up with her friends and let them engage each other in small talk as she had none of her own to contribute, she had given her full attention to her morning classes. Everything went normally until lunch, when the day officially had diverged from her normal schedule.

"Do you mind if I ask you a favor, darling?"

During a playful debate between Rainbow Dash and Applejack about some sort of sports thing, Twilight had taken a moment to read ahead in her AP calculus textbook so as to get a sneak preview for what the class would be like next week. It took her a moment to register that the question that Rarity had proposed was directed towards herself.

"Me?" she asked, clarifying.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't want to interrupt you during your reading but it is fairly pertinent that this favor be accomplished tonight, else I'll lose out on a particularly large order." The dressmaker placed her fingers on the table in front of her and leaned in, conspirationally whispering. "I'd like to know if you would be able to help me with something internet related after school today, but only if you yourself were able to." she leaned back and examined her fingernails as she continued, this time in a normal voice. "There is a chance that my sister will be able to assist me with this if you are unable to, so please don't feel any sort of obligation."

Twilight nodded. "Of course I'll help you, Rarity," she affirmed, closing the book and slipping it back into her bag. "I enjoy the time I spend with all of you, whether for business or pleasure." She adjusted the sleeves of her jumper that had bunched briefly up before crossing her arms and placing them on the cafeteria table. "So what is it that you'll be wanting my help with?"

"You're such a sweetheart, Twilight!" She beamed and placed her palms together before daintily reaching into her purse for her smartphone, careful so as not to hurt the manicure she had gotten during the weekend. She tapped out the unlock code before swiping through a page of red then orange apps, and so on through the rest of the spectrum until she got to the blue, and pressed one that had a white letter 't' on it. She then turned the screen to allow her friend to see as well.

"I use a blogging platform in my spare time to find inspiration for my designs," she explained as the application began to fully load. "Is this something that you would be able to decode?"

Twilight studied the screen as the features slowly began to come online. So to speak.

"It seems to be a dashboard based short form social networking site." She cracked her knuckles. "I could probably hack into the database by the end of the school day. Doesn't seem too difficult to work with. Not at all a problem!"

"Oh, delightful!" Rarity chirped. "And then perhaps we could get you to take part in it and create an account of your own?" she inquired, batting her eyelashes. "I could always use an extra follower or two."

Twilight shook her head. "I don't get into all of that," she said. "I won't have enough time on my hands to even sleep with all of the scholarship essays I'll have in a few months, let alone try to manage another one of these... facespace things."

"It's not..." Rarity sighed. For as smart as she was, Twilight sure was ignorant about many things. But that's life for most. "Oh, very well then. Your technological expertise is plenty enough assistance regardless." She nodded and gently smiled. "I can drive you to my house after school today and save you the walk."

"I appreciate that, Rarity," Twilight responded, thanking her for the offer. "I can't wait!"

That was technically a lie. She could wait, and wait she did indeed do. Once the afternoon classes had passed, Twilight gathered up her belongings at her locker in preparation to bid farewell to yet another fairly uneventful day at school. When she closed the door, however, she was surprised by the sudden appearance of-

"Pinkie!?"

Thwoompf!

"Surprise!"

Twilight brushed the sudden onset of confetti out from her bangs, behind her glasses, and what she could get to from out of her chest, as a large amount of it had coated her entire head, face, and somehow- confusingly enough- inside of her bra. That wasn't going to be coming out any time soon. She'd have to ask to use Rarity's bathroom. What a nuisance!

The bitter and snarky interrogation on why she'd gotten blasted almost at point blank range with the patent-pending glitter gun was cut off by the sweet angelic giggling of a former devil, and all of a sudden the vitriolic indignation melted away into a gentle flowing river of calm, trickling throughout the entirety of her nervous system. Twilight turned her head slightly and only then noticed the other girl's presence, hidden a little behind a covered cake pan.

Sunset Shimmer. Badass biker chick extraordinaire, living proof that even the worst eggs could have a heart of gold once they'd made a friend or two (or six). A beautiful soul with a shining personality that glowed brighter than her namesake, an amazing talent for music, and a fashion sense that put almost everyone- sans Rarity- in their peer group to shame. And a really nice butt.

...wait, what?

"Happy two-and-a-half-year-iversary of going to school with us!" Pinkie exclaimed, having stashed the glitter gun somewhere or another and holding out a plate with a small cupcake sitting in the middle with a single lit candle at the center.

 _Has it really been that long?_ Twilight thought to herself. Yes, it had indeed been six months since it had been two years after the first day Twilight had left Crystal Prep and begun to attend Canterlot High with the girls. Thirty-two whole moons... it still hadn't felt like that much time had elapsed. And yet here she was, the last year of high school, on the fast track to graduation. It still didn't feel real.

"I heard you've got a thing with Rarebear later on," Pinkie continued, still holding the navy blue square paper plate reading 'Celebrate!' seemingly unaware of the staring contest that Twilight was trying to start with Sunset. "So during study hall I went and borrowed the home ec room to make a cupcake since all I made today was the regular size cake since I didn't know that you were gonna be too busy to be able to stick around for a full blown party after school like we did the last time we had a half-a-year-iversary for you and that was a total disaster because I overdid the frosting a little bit and Principal Celestia walked in right as I set off my party cannon and she gave us all detention and made us clean the entire gymnasium but that was really fun because we all did that impromptu karaoke sessie but anyways I can tell I'm kind of getting off track here because I should be talking about this year instead of last year and definitely not next year although now that I'm thinking about it there's not gonna be a next year and now I'm suddenly really sad about that but I'll totally still make you a cake next year and we'll all drive to your college and give it to you and do all the stuff that I wanted to do this year but it's really not that big of a deal because I have parties like this every single day almost but the cake I made today is different than the ones I make normally because I know you're super lactose intolerant so I made this cake with almond milk instead of cow milk so it's chocolate cake with a little bit of a nutty taste and I just really hope you like it!"

By the time she had finished, Twilight had gathered herself, waved at Sunset, taken and eaten the cupcake, relieved Sunset of her burden, placed the cake pan nearby on the ground, given Sunset a hug, then picked the cake pan back up and held it securely in the crook of her arm.

"Thank you Pinkie," she said as she gave a one armed hug to the manic pixie dream girl on account of both of their other arms were otherwise occupied. "I'm sorry that I forgot about the anniversary party. And I really appreciate you remembering my dietary restrictions, and being so thoughtful as to use your study time to do this for me."

"Aww, it's really nothing Twi!" Pinkie rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand. "Baking's easy when you've done it as much as I have. It's worth it to see you guys smile."

Twilight nodded and gave an attempt at a grin that came off as more of a smirk, as the other half of her mouth refused to cooperate. She gripped her sleeve and pulled it up into the palm of her hand, pretending not to notice the brief flash of concern on Sunset's face. She adjusted her backpack and purse, before turning to face Sunset and minding that her gaze didn't wander or stay in one place for too long.

"Is Rainbow going to be fine without me today?" she asked, trying to shift the conversation.

"Yeah, it's Rarity she'll miss," Sunset replied, taking the hint. "Apparently she wrote some new material with keyboard harmonies that we were going to get to after our homework was all done. Since you two are the furthest along academic wise, though, we won't lose too much practice time today anyway."

"Good to hear," Twilight said, careful to keep the slight twinge of envy out of her voice. As much as everyone swore up and down about her being a true part of their group rather than just a parasite that had latched on and been along for the ride, they never really put very much thought into the possibility of adding string parts to their songs so that Twilight could participate. She could play the violin, cello, piano, and a little bit of the harp, and everyone was aware, but that didn't stop Rainbow and the others from always having some reason or another why they couldn't include her in their music.

It really wasn't that much of a problem, honestly. She wasn't upset with them for that since they had been a band for longer than they'd even known she had existed. Well... they suspected that she did, and Pinkie had seen her before, but she wasn't a conscious part of their minds until more recently than that. She just wished that maybe she could be something other than their cheerleader, the girl along for the ride, their studio backup singer on that one song that they never did live. But alas, it was best that she didn't try to integrate into them since she'd have to part ways soon anyways.

"I shouldn't keep Rarity waiting," Twilight continued. "She's on a time crunch but we can talk later, right?"

"Of course," Sunset gently assuaged as she nodded. "I'll text you when we're finished."

Twilight nodded as they exchanged waves, Pinkie enthusiastically waving the reappeared glitter gun rather than her arm as she walked. She felt her eyes pull towards their hips but forced herself to turn away. _'No, Twilight. Bad!'_ she chided. _Quit staring at your friends' backsides, one day they'll notice and get really creeped out._

She shook the notions away and refocused. HTML editing. That's what would be going on today. Specifically converting it all into layman's terms. And maybe also secretly installing adblock on Rarity's web browser, running a malware scanner in the background using the command prompt and hotkeys, and a few other odds and ends that would drive Twilight completely up the wall otherwise. Luckily they were able to exchange their knowledge on tech and fashion, the two things in which the two girls were experts on one but completely lost on the other.

These thoughts distracted her on the way to the Mercedes sitting in the back of the parking lot. Between the dress commissions, cuts from her contributions on the record label, a long history of good credit, a small loan from daddy, and just the slightest batting of the eyelashes in the dealership, Rarity got a really good deal on a decade old model that was still as sleek and shiny as one of the newer models and for less than half the cost. She parked all the way at the back so that any roughneck hooligans on skateboards (*cough* Rainbow Dash *cough*) didn't cause anybody any dings or dents.

Once she approached the car, Twilight noticed Rarity was on her phone, but couldn't tell from the screen what was happening. She went ahead and grabbed the car door, pulling it open and causing Rarity to jump with a shriek and accidentally fling her phone into the windshield. Twilight was startled by the sudden loud noise and nearly dropped the cake.

"Twilight!" she cried, placing a hand on her chest, and closing her eyes. "Darling, I do apologize, I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings." Her face was flushed and her jacket was halfway unzipped despite the low temperature outside.

Twilight slid into her seat, placing her bags by her feet and setting the cake in her lap. "It's okay," she placated, before taking a deep and meditative breath. "I should have tapped the glass first."

She reached out to grab the phone that had slid over onto her side of the dashboard, intending to hand it back to Rarity, but the image on the screen caused her to pause. Rarity took that moment to open her eyes, and her breath hitched as she saw Twilight's face frozen and locked on the screen. A young woman adorned in lacy, revealing lingerie sat on a kitchen island, illuminated by moonlight.

"Th... that's..." she stammered, brain not being of any help whatsoever since it was overwhelmed with a hundred different variations of _'Holy shit she's hot!'_

"Darling, I..." Rarity gaped, trying to come up with an explanation. She had none, so instead elected to slowly snake her own hand over to slide it from Twilight's grasp as if her hands were dead fish.

Twilight blinked and shook her head a little, before bringing her eyes up to Rarity's own, which were a bit... fearful? Or maybe just searching. Judging? No, surely not, she was of course very supportive of Twilight and her orientation. Maybe she's just still reeling from the surprise of being jolted back to reality? Yes, that must be it.

"So you're looking to buy some lingerie," Twilight said, putting her hands up placatingly. "I'm not here to judge you, Rarity, you're a responsible woman. Whatever you want to wear for your future man is your business. I was just a bit... surprised, is all." She gave a nervous, awkward, but supportive smile. "It's really pretty though, and I'm sure that you'd look amazing in it."

Rarity's eyes slid to the left, processing, and then she closed her mouth and turned back to Twilight. "Yes, right," she said, hesitantly at first but picking back up to her normal pace and tone. "I thought I'd have a few minutes of privacy to find a nice set to put an order in for. It's the holidays soon, my gift to me, because I can't exactly put something like that on my family's christmas wish list. I didn't intend to make you uncomfortable."

"No no no," Twilight interjected, shaking her hands side to side. _'She bought it!'_

"I'm not uncomfortable at all! It was just a bit unexpected." She folded her hands gently in her lap over the cake pan. "I mean, I've seen girls in underwear before. My bathroom mirror, the girls' locker room, and when I've glanced through catalogues wondering whether I should bite the bullet and buy my own pair, but... you know me and how I always rule against buying something I'm not going to use for its intended purpose."

"Darling, wearing sexy underthings for yourself IS one of the intended purposes," Rarity placated. "Feeling confident and empowered in your own skin does wonders for other areas of your life. In fact..." she bit her lip in thought for a moment before shrugging and lifting her shirt a little.

At Twilight's 'eep', she paused for a moment. "I'm actually wearing one of my favorite pieces now," she explained, before pulling her blouse up just enough to reveal the material of the bra she was wearing underneath. "It's a midnight blue silk charmeuse that I oftentimes wear when I'm a bit stressed." she pulled the article back down and straightened it.

"I... didn't know that," Twilight offered, eyes only briefly having left Rarity's own to acknowledge the bra. "I always assumed that things like that were only for the pleasure of our paramours," she explained. "Maybe I should go ahead and get a pair for myself."

Rarity set a comforting hand on Twilight's knee. "And if you ever do want a bit of moral support, or a helpful eye for complimentary palettes, I'm here if you need me." She smiled, tilting her head slightly so she had a better angle to look in her friend's eyes. "All of us are. Although Rainbow may accidentally laugh at you if you ask her considering of your history with each other, Fluttershy might simply die of embarrassment, and I don't think that Applejack would even know where to start, but Pinkie Pie and Sunset would absolutely be ready and willing to jump at the chance to help you. I'm sure even Juniper would if she ever really answered any of us."

Twilight's heart skipped at the mention of Sunset but she nodded and hesitantly placed her own hand atop Rarity's own. "I appreciate that," she said. "And I'm glad you're willing to help me with things like this even though I'm..." she couldn't finish the sentence.

Rarity nodded. "I trust you, Twilight. With my body, my chemistry notes, my computer..." She glanced at the steering wheel. "Anything but my car. No matter whether you love women, men, both, or neither. You're a good person."

 _'No I'm not.'_ "Thank you, Rarity. That really means a lot to me."

The two beamed at each other for a moment before they pulled their hands apart and Rarity out her key in the ignition. They both buckled in before Rarity turned on her CD player, making the speakers churn out a thumping, bassy percussive backbeat alongside a funky low piano riff and a man chanting rhythmically.

"Pinkie made me a cake," Twilight said, opening the floor back to small talk. "Biannual party for me attending school here. She made it with almond milk so I can actually eat it, but I'm not going to eat a whole cake. Will you want any?"

Rarity barked a laugh for a moment before she covered her mouth and excused herself. "Maybe I'll have a slice if you're offering, but please don't leave much more than that with me," she playfully begged. "Either I'll eat it and hate myself for the calories, my sister will eat it and be hyperactive for hours, Opal will eat it and get a tummyache, or it would just go bad in the kitchen and Pinkie would be upset that we let a perfectly good cake go uneaten."

Twilight nodded. "I know you don't like to eat too much sugar. Or carbohydrates. Or fats... or calories..." she furled up her lips. "I actually have no idea what you do eat."

A rustling crinkle immediately followed this as Rarity held up a protein bar. "Two of these a day, dried fruit, light jerky, plenty of raw vegetables. Occasionally I'll eat some toast, but never white bread. Whole wheat only. And always butter, never margarine. A glass of red wine in the bath. Oh, don't give me that look, Twilight, you've had more vodka in lemonade than I'll probably ever drink in my lifetime. Breakfast is oatmeal or granola, and sometimes I'll treat myself to a cereal, but not the kinds that are chock full of sugar and high fructose corn syrup." She slipped the bar back into the box inside the center console. "I eat plenty, I'm just very particular about what I will put inside my body."

Twilight nodded. "I'm a bit more lenient than that but I get the feeling. I try to shy away from junk food, but sometimes I just get so invested in my studying that I'll realize it's past midnight and decide to just heat up something in the microwave the next time I'm in the kitchen refilling my coffee."

"I could never do that," Rarity interjected. "I will never go without sleep. Even if just for a few hours when I'm up late with an order. Although some days I will sleep immediately after getting home from school. Two four hour periods of sleep are just as good as eight hours uninterrupted."

"Well, actually Rarity, it's not. REM cycles come in ninety minute interludes. According to many case studies, we need five and in some cases six or seven full cycles for the highest functionality. If you sleep four and four, you're only getting about two complete cycles each."

Rarity was silent for a minute before sighing heavily. "Well, that's the last time I trust clickbait articles."

The conversation continued to migrate until Rarity finally arrived at her home, pulling into the empty driveway.

"And that's why I think that squirrels are cuter than chipmunks," Twilight concluded, before undoing her seatbelt buckle.

Rarity nodded as she unbuckled herself and turned off the radio. "You raise some valid points, darling, but I still disagree on account of the fact that there are no troupes of singing squirrels in dapper little suits." She gathered her purse and various bits before turning the key, silencing the vehicle.

Twilight shrugged. "Fair point," she said, as she gathered her own items... and then encountered a problem. "Rarity?"

"Don't worry," she replied, muffled through the windows but still remaining audible. "I'll help you carry your things," carrying on as she opened the car door and took the cake pan. "I'll be a good host no matter how incorrect you are about the cuteness of rodents."

Twilight replied with an akanbe, pulling on her eyelid and sticking out her tongue while taking Rarity's open hand in her own free one. She released her lid to pick up her own purse and bag. "Thanks, but Fluttershy would agree with me here."

"Wrong, Twilight. Fluttershy would disagree with both of us and say that all rodents are equally as cute. Even..." Rarity said with a shudder. "Rats."

Twilight giggled. "Well, I can agree with you on that, at least." she adjusted the straps on her shoulders before falling into step behind her friend, but immediately began to regret this decision as Rarity's skirt was... very form fitting.

 _'Don't look down don't look down don't look do- dammit Twilight, you looked down! Idiot!'_

Unaware of the inner turmoil going on behind her, Rarity unlocked the front door to her home and stepped into a fairly cramped dining room. "I apologize for the limited maneuverability, darling," she said. "My parents are a bit of... collectors."

The room was full of tacky knick-knacks and antique furniture, stacks of cardboard boxes and plastic bins, and of course the table at the center replete with a gaudy navy cloth adorning it. Twilight looked around and briefly wondered whether Rarity was adopted. Everything smelled musty.

"If you'd like anything to eat, then the kitchen is through that doorway," she continued. "My room is near the back of the house, if you'll follow me."

The pair meandered their way through and around the walls of crap, stuff, and junk alike. Through a pair of double doors, past an overfurnished living room, and down a narrow darkened interior hall they walked. Two of the rooms Rarity showed Twilight, the bathroom and her own bedroom.

"Hello Opal!" the fashionista cooed, rousing the feline from its nap. The cat was displeased with its awakening, evident by her swiping sharp claws at her master's face before hopping off of the bed and sprinting through Twilight's legs out the open door.

"Mama loves you!"

Twilight bit her lip as she surveyed the scene, unfamiliar with her surroundings as she had never been to Rarity's house before, and more than a bit confused at how very un-Rarity the room was.

In the far corner lay a small twin bed with a simple set of white sheets and comforter, underneath which were nearly a dozen pairs of shoes of many styles. Next to it on the wall was a small window that faced right out into the side of her neighbor's house. In the corner before them was a desk with a desktop computer and several shelves, the space of which were cluttered with notebooks, pencils, fabric swatches, various sewing supplies, and two electronic tables. In the final corner were two dressers piled high with different clothes and even more shoes, placed aside a closet full of yet more clothes. The walls were adorned with a few posters- Songbird Serenade among some other R&B, hip hop, and pop artists, but not much else.

The room was only a few meters wide and long.

"Sorry about the mess, Twilight," Rarity apologized, placing her purse and the cake on the bed before removing her shoes, jacket, and blouse, revealing the camisole underneath. "I didn't have time to clean up this morning. If you'd like then you can- are you feeling well, darling?"

Twilight, whose face was now significantly redder than it was before, took a deep breath before replying. "The temperature is a bit high," she lied. "But it's fine."

"I'll open the window, then," Rarity said, striding towards it. "I don't want you roasting or feeling otherwise uncomfortable."

 _'Then don't take your clothes off, please...'_

"Don't go through too much trouble for me," Twilight replied quickly, hoping not to let her true thoughts shine through. "I'm here for you after all, and not vice-versa."

Rarity nodded understandingly. "Of course," she responded, turning back around to find Twilight staring at the wall to her side, not having moved. This time Rarity bit her lip and inhaled as if to speak, faltered as she re-examined what she was about to say, and then pushed through. "Would you like me to put my shirt back on? I wasn't thinking."

"You don't have to!" Twilight cried. "I mean. You can if you want to. But don't feel obligated to do it just because I'm being awkward. I'm sorry." _'Smooth.'_

"It's really okay-"

"No, I don't want you to have to do anything differently with me than with any of the other girls just because you have nice collarbones." Beat. "No! That's not what I meant to say! I just mean that... I'm not uncomfortable by anything except the possibility that I could be making you feel uncomfortable if I accidentally stare or something. It's me who has the problem and needs to get a grip on my stupid hormones. It's your house so please just wear what you want and don't worry about me because I'm fine, okay?"

Twilight wiped her eyes of the thin sheen of moisture that had welled up during the unexpected burst of emotion. Needless to say, she was not fine. Remnants of Midnight still lingered, always hovering on the edge of her subconscious, lurking. It had been years, and yet it still interfered at the worst moments. This was supposed to be a good, fun, positive experience with one of her best friends, but her brain was running in a dozen different directions just because Rarity happened to be baring her shoulders.

It literally isn't a problem, it's not at all a big deal: she has seen Rarity and the rest of the girls in their swimsuits before and there wasn't an issue. She had seen Rainbow Dash in her underwear when they were dating and that didn't make things weird between them. She had even accidentally seen Pinkie Pie completely nude in the locker room and things couldn't be any different! But ironically enough, it was seeing her friends in casual clothes that just so happened to emphasize certain body parts over others that was causing a whole wealth of unpleasant and unwanted emotions to bubble over.

Ever since Midnight, life had been hell in the whole... gay department. Back at Crystal Prep, the uniform for girls called for thigh-highs or knee socks underneath short skirts, but it hadn't phased her whatsoever back then. She of course knew where her attractions lied, but didn't pay all that much attention to them. Now, however, if she went back then she would probably literally explode in a rainbow for reasons other than magic. Midnight exacerbated everything: her fears, her doubts, her anxieties... and her capacity for arousal.

It was painful. It physically hurt to see her friends as more than such. It hurt to feel her mind sexually objectifying her friends, for the foreign presence to direct her focus towards their bodies. Fluttershy's legs, Rainbow's abs, Applejack's arms, Pinkie's breasts, Sunset's butt, Rarity's collarbones and shoulders: Midnight had a favorite of all of them, and she made those be the only thing in Twilight's mind while they were present. It hurt so much, the guilt was so much to bear, and when it inevitably got to be too much...

Twilight wept as Midnight taunted her, absentmindedly rubbing her scarred wrists together through the hems of her sleeves, suddenly lost in the pit of despair yet again.

Until...

"Twilight Sparkle."

She opened her eyes to see Rarity standing right in front of her, her hands firmly planted on her own shoulders. She bore holes right into Twilight's eyes with her own and chose her words with great care and precision.

"You're my friend. One of my best friends. In fact, I daresay that aside from Fluttershy, Sunset, and Coco, you are my best friend. You are here out of the goodness of your heart in order to assist me with something of great importance to myself. If to make you more comfortable I need to wear three sweaters and a trench coat, I will do it. I know that it can't be easy for you to love who you love while being around six attractive girls with very few physical boundaries for a large majority of most of your days. I understand this and will do whatever is in my power to make your environment conducive to your happiness.

"I don't want you to feel guilty about being who you are, because that more than any amount of gawking is what will upset me most. Men have drooled over me for years now, said horrible and nasty things, and only cared about my cup size and getting into my pants. You're different, Twi. You don't stare at me, even when you think I'm not looking. You don't make lewd comments. You don't do anything out of sorts. You go out of your way not to make me feel like a walking pair of breasts, and that says more about your character than anything else.

"You respect me for who I am, and you support me through my dreams, and you would drop an entire evening of studying at a moment's notice for a friend. I appreciate you so much, Twilight. I hate to see you beating yourself up over feelings that you can't control." Rarity pulled Twilight in and embraced her, holding tightly enough that they could feel each others' pulse. "And besides that," she said, pulling away. "I actually quite like the confidence boost that comes from you looking at me the way you do, so it really doesn't bother me at all. But I can tell that it bothers you."

Rarity picked the blouse back up from the bed and slipped it back on, buttoning it up as she spoke. "Besides, your focus would be better spent on my computer's hardware, not on mine, wouldn't you agree?"

Twilight laughed through the tears that continued, but no longer from sadness. "It's the software we're working with," she said before sniffling and taking her glasses off to wipe her eyes. "But that was a good one..." she readjusted her spectacles and hesitantly stepped forward. "I'm sorry for being dramatic."

Rarity hugged her again. "No apology necessary darling," she placated. "I'm the one who should apologize for being careless. So let's just both agree that nobody is at fault so we can get on with the blog, okay?"

Twilight nodded in the crook of Rarity's neck. "Okay." and with that she pulled away.

"You're welcome to remove your own sweater, though, if you'd like."

The improved mood evaporated instantaneously.

"It's cold with the window opened." Twilight quickly interjected, putting her hands deeper into their sleeves. "Or at least at a lower temperature than is comfortable to not wear it."

"Should I close the window again then?"

Twilight shook her head. "Not for my sake if you also don't want to. Let's just... get to it so I don't cause any more..." she flapped her hands around a bit, unable to find the proper word. "Problems."

Rarity pursed her lips, crossing her arms and analyzing Twilight's body language. "I won't press the matter further. I appreciate you doing this for me so I'll leave it be, because I know that if there was something serious going on then you would let us all know." She stepped forward and kissed Twilight on the forehead before turning around and turning on the computer.

Her heart froze for a moment before almost having a palpitation catching up. _'Breathe, Twilight. It was only a platonic display of heartfelt concern and affection, calm down._ ' Her eyes glanced down and quickly back up.

 _'Does her skirt have to be so short...'_

"Alright, it's booting up," Rarity said, lurching Twilight out of her reverie. "I'll let you sit down while I go borrow a chair from the dining room." and with that, she left.

Twilight pulled her sleeves down, glancing at the pink ribbons. Glaring at them. _'Stupid things.'_ She quickly hid them again, so as to avoid having a THIRD emotional heart-to-heart with Rarity that would only end up causing a big huge rift. It isn't even a problem, she double and triple checked her research on where to cut so as not to cause any permanent lasting damage to any arteries or tendons or anything. It was something that would surely just go away given enough time. Midnight couldn't torment her forever.

...could she?

Twilight sat down at the desk and cracked her knuckles. Now wasn't the time for worrying about what may or may not happen somewhere down the line. Now was the time for helping Rarity.

By now the borderline ancient computer had finished warming up and was ready. Rarity really needed an upgrade; luckily she knew a technical wizard. Twilight logged in, password 'Cestmagnifique', and beheld a photograph of the seven friends from Camp Everfree holding up their newfound geodes. The sight reminded Twilight she was still holding her purse and bag, so she gripped her necklace and carefully levitated her bag over to the bed, but left her purse on the floor.

Twilight scanned the screen looking for an icon for a web browser but found none. She furrowed her brow and sighed before clicking the start menu. And then promptly wanted to throw up.

"This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life."

There was nothing but folders labeled various bits of gibberish organized in seemingly random order. Twilight removed her glasses to pinch the bridge of her nose. She moused over to the box labeled "My Computer" and decided to do it the old-fashioned way. She went into the C drive and clicked around, finally finding a web browser. Begrudgingly she made a shortcut and a little blue E appeared on the desktop. She double clicked it and waited for it to load.

Rarity had returned with the chair and a bag of reduced-sodium gluten-free pretzel sticks by the time it was finished opening. She offered it to Twilight who merely shook her hand and turning back to the screen. What popped up killed what little appetite she had left anyways.

"... Rarity... why do you have seven different toolbars installed?"

Rarity's response was simply crunching and a confused shrug. Twilight sighed.

This was going to be a long day.

Luckily after cleaning up the workspace and ensuring that the browser worked properly (and a lecture about not clicking every single thing that says "install me!"), the pair were able to get into Rarity's account, create the new blog, and completely tailor it- no pun intended- to their needs. Twilight walked Rarity through everything: uploading the designs, linking to the website she used to the process sales, changing the colors and theme of the blog itself, and even a little bit of beginner's coding. Unfortunately it seemed like that last bit didn't really stick, but it didn't have to since Rarity seemed to have learned pretty much everything else.

They had of course taken a break or two during the several-hours-long endeavor. The cake had gotten demolished, as had the pretzels, and they had also picked from a bag of trail mix: Rarity took the nuts and Twilight took the fruit. By the end, Rarity's blog was complete, and the sun had begun setting. They had decided on the url "sleek-chic-cest-magnifique", and as Twilight hit 'save' one last time, she leaned back in the chair and finally breathed a long sigh of relaxation.

"Thank you so much, Twilight!" Rarity cried, giving her friend a hug. "It looks absolutely gorgeous! I'm sure to rake in sales with this beauty!"

Twilight returned the eager embrace, glad to have made her happy. "It's no problem at all, Rarity," she said, glancing at the completed web page. It did indeed look great. "I had fun doing it, and hanging out with you today."

They were interrupted by Twilight's cell phone buzzing. The duo separated so Twilight could dig in the purse at her feet: notepad, palm pilot, wallet, flash drive, tampons, half empty pack of gum, the unused condom Rainbow had put in there as a joke years ago that Twilight didn't want to get rid of, pack of tissues, another flash drive, the knife that had never been opened once, makeup bag, glasses case... finally she found the device at the very bottom for some reason. Flipping it open, she read the message aloud.

"We aren't going to make it home tonight. Flight got delayed, ugh, frowny face emoticon. Will be home tomorrow though. You can order pizza if you'd like. See you soon, love you." she snapped the phone closed. "Well, mom and dad won't be home, so it looks like I've got an empty house to look forward to."

"Would you like to stay the night?" Rarity inquired. "It wouldn't be any trouble."

"No," Twilight replied. "I have to take Spike out, but I appreciate the offer."

Rarity nodded. "Well that's unfortunate, but I understand."

They sat in companionable silence for a minute before Twilight turned to go back to the home page on the computer. The link she clicked instead brought her to a list of urls. There was the one they had just made at the bottom of the short list. The next one was titled "rare-indeed" with a subheading that read "palettes and designs", and a third one titled "theiofthe-beholder", and its subheading was... interesting, to say the least.

"I'm going to use the restroom, darling. I'll be right back."

Twilight barely registered her saying this as she was busy rereading the subheading wondering at how that just can't possibly be right. After a moment she noticed that the room was empty, and fully processed what had been said. Her eyes were pulled back towards this mysterious chronologically first blog, one that Rarity had never said anything about in her long years of using this website.

"The Pure Beauty of the Female Form: 18+"

Curiosity killed the cat, they say.

"What's this?"

-click-

"...oh."

/x/x/x/

A/N

If you clicked this story expecting a cringe comedy you were sorely mistaken. This is a story about suffering from mental illness and internalized homophobia.


	2. TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes

Rarity entered her bedroom to find Twilight staring intently at the screen, jaw practically on the floor. Her heart seized: [i]'I've been found out! Play it cool, Rarity, a lady keeps her composure.'[/i]

"Did I miss anything?"

"GAH!" Twilight cried, hand flying violently off the mouse and sending it flying. Quickly her other hand smashed the Alt and F4 keys, and she prayed to every deity she knew that Rarity didn't know how to check her browser history. Quickly the gears began to turn and churn in her head for a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why she reacted so violently.

Rarity, meanwhile, was recovering from the near heart attack she endured when the mouse came flying directly at her face. Luckily she didn't use a wireless mouse, so she was spared what could possibly have been a broken nose. She gripped her chest above her left breast, feeling the suddenly rapid beat come slowing down as she breathed, and tried to come up with a good reason as to why she had... that kind of blog.

The two simply stared at each other for a moment before they heard someone clear their throat through the door. The pair turned to face...

"Scootaloo?" Twilight asked incredulously. There before them stood one of the 'little sisters' of the group alongside Rarity and Applejack's siblings, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, respectively. The only thing shocking Twilight more than the fact that she was here in Rarity's house right now was what she was wearing: a hoodie, boyshorts, and socks. That seemed to be it.

"Hey Twilight," she responded groggily. "So, uh. Sweetie Belle still isn't feeling well. She's asleep. We both were. Can you try not to yell anymore please?"

Rarity nodded. "Of course, darling: it won't happen again. Wait-" she cried as Scootaloo turned to walk back away. "I'll make some more tea and chicken soup in the morning, so you don't have to do anything. Just... keep her company, please: she feels better when she's with you."

Scootaloo nodded, muttered "Thanks, Rare," and walked off.

Twilight's confusion about Scootaloo's presence, attire, and attitude dissipated and was replaced by concern for the apparently sick child in the next room over. Well, teenager: the adolescents had grown so much in the time that Twilight knew of them.

"Is your sister okay?" she asked.

"She's just feeling a bit under the weather right now," Rarity assuaged. "Nothing serious."

Twilight nodded, glad the more pertinent issue was not anything to worry about, but that still left the matter of the displaced girl in a house that she didn't belong to wearing clothes that were most certainly inappropriate for the setting.

"Why is Scootaloo here?" she asked in less of an interrogative and in more of an 'am-I-missing-something?' way.

"Darling, Scootaloo has been living here with my family and I for several years now," she explained. "We try not to make it public knowledge."

"Okay..." well that answers one question. "So why is she wearing... that?"

"They." came Rarity's blunt reply.

Twilight blinked. "What?"

"Sorry, that was... harsher than I intended it to be. I'm just so used to doing that. Scootaloo prefers to be addressed as they or them rather than by she or her." Rarity sat down on the bed before continuing, watching as Twilight put her hand over her mouth in thought. "The clothes are a personal choice that I wouldn't be caught dead in unless I was living alone or with a paramour, but those are simply pajamas."

"Okay, so... They. Got it." Twilight picked up her purse and walked over to the bed and sat down next to Rarity. "I'm aware that some people use nontraditional pronouns, I just didn't know that Scootaloo did as well. But I'm still confused. Where does she- do they- sleep?"

"Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle sleep in the same bed," Rarity explained. "We don't have enough rooms in the house for Scootaloo to have their own bedroom but the two are very close and don't particularly care sleeping together." She shrugged. "Fluttershy and I are the same way. So are Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It's nothing weird or perverse or anything like that. That's just how they've been for as long as Scootaloo has lived with us."

Twilight nodded, starting to understand the situation. "I know that it's normal for a lot of girls to sleep together even in a state of undress but for purely platonic purposes," she adjusted her purse and felt her cheeks color. "I just don't think that I could do that myself, considering..."

Rarity bit her lip, then placed a comforting hand on Twilight's shoulder. "It's a personal choice, darling, and nobody expects you to do or not do anything that you aren't comfortable with."

"I know," she said, nodding and giving a half smile. "And I appreciate that."

The two looked at each other for a moment before both of their thoughts snapped back to what caused Scootaloo to emerge in the first place. The blog. They both turned to the computer screen.

Rarity cleared her throat. "Are you staying for supper? I'm probably going to be making myself a salad but we have other things as well. I know you have a dog and a pizza waiting for you at home."

Twilight stood. "No, I should go soon, otherwise Spike will whine my ears off about unethical animal treatment or something. Thanks for offering though."

Rarity nodded. "Go ahead and gather your things, then," she said. "I don't want to keep my wittwe Spikey-wikey waiting for too long... Thank you again for coming to assist me."

"It was my pleasure," Twilight responded with a hug. "I had fun. Just let me know if you need any other help with any of your... blogs."

[i]'Oh no, why did I say it like that?'

'Oh no, she really does know!'[/i]

"Of course; I know that I can always count on you. And I'll take care of the cake pan and return it to Pinkie."

Twilight nodded. "Thanks."

Both girls deathly afraid of bringing up the topic they didn't know that the other was stressing out about, they went back to Rarity's car and headed to Twilight's house, exchanging no more than small talk. Externally nothing was different, but inside they both had a terrible feeling that the other was silently judging the for being perverted.

Eventually Rarity pulled into Twilight's driveway, and the two hugged before bidding farewells and separating. Twilight waved from the front door before closing it and hearing Rarity drive away. After taking Spike outside ("Finally!") and ordering the pizza (soy cheese with garden veggie) she went into her dimly lit bedroom, clapping twice to activate the lights. She placed her purse and bag on her bed before collapsing on it herself.

A lot of thoughts raced through her mind, none really standing out more so than any other except for 'Go look.'

She turned her head to her computer, sitting there on her desk so insidiously. She looked back up to her miniature planetarium. She looked to the left at her bean bag reading chair and closet. She looked forward at her door and academic awards. She looked to the right at the telescope and many bookshelves. Each time her sight returned to the computer.

"I don't want to," she said as she stood up and walked over to it.

[b]"Yes we do..."[/b]

"This is wrong," Twilight muttered as she pressed the power button and waited for it to boot up.

[b]"Only if we get caught..."[/b]

Twilight violently shook her head trying to dislodge the unwanted thoughts but they stayed, ever present, as she felt her fingers type in her passcode, a complicated string of letters and numbers put together algorithmically using a program of her own design.

"Please don't make me do this..." she whimpered, clicking the web browser.

[b]"You know as much as I do that you want this just as much as me, my dear."[/b]

She clicked the address bar and typed in the URL she was looking for. "theiofthe-beholder", a simple enough sounding phrase. Nothing insidious about that, right? Nothing to betray the contents hidden inside. There wasn't anything really bad, per se. But something that could cause something bad...

Pressing enter, a photograph popped up on the screen. It was one she had seen twice before that day, of the woman in lingerie. The one on Rarity's phone earlier, then on her computer, and now on Twilight's computer.

"Why can't we just ignore it?" she pleaded. "I can't do this, it's an invasion of privacy!"

No reply came, but Twilight found herself scrolling. After a moment she felt her heart slow down, and then rapidly speed up. After another moment she felt another hand on top of her own, forcing her to continue turning the mouse wheel. An orchid gloved slender fingered hand that refused to budge no matter how much her own arm struggled.

[b]"Ssshhh..."[/b] Midnight muttered, reaching her other hand around to stroke Twilight's hair. [b]"It's just a little more..."[/b]

Twilight couldn't move her head to get the cold fingers away. It wasn't really happening in real life, not on the observable plane of existence. Her hair wasn't actually moving, but the sensation still existed. She wanted to throw up.

Another woman in lingerie. Another woman with her breasts visible. Another woman looking seductively over her shoulder as her posterior was facing the camera. Another gripping her breast, putting her fingers on either side of the piercing on the nipple. Another woman in lingerie. Two women kissing while groping each other.

"Please stop..."

Finally her finger did stop... exactly where she didn't want it to.

[b]"Sunset sure does look more beautiful without her clothes, doesn't she!?"[/b] Midnight cackled before removing her hands and walking away. Twilight didn't turn to look as there was no point. Even when she couldn't see Midnight anymore, she always know that it was there. Watching, waiting, constantly on the hunt for the next time she was emotionally compromised.

Her wrists burned.

Sunset Shimmer was in the computer right now. She was laying on her side on her bed, illuminated by the sun's rays. One arm was outstretched, holding the phone that had presumably taken the photograph. The other hand was resting on her abdomen between her chest and stomach. Her legs were crossed in just such a way that her pubic hair was showing, which is relevant because she was completely nude.

Twilight blushed furiously, and felt her pulse quicken, her toes curl, and her stomach turn. She didn't feel sick, no; this was a turn of arousal, pure and simple. She felt another part of her body twitch, one that hadn't seen any use before. Not by anybody else.

Sunset was was grinning, her eyes half-lidded, and her hair was just freshly washed, conditioned, and brushed, falling around her face, framing it perfectly. Her hips curved nicely, and Twilight imagined how it would feel to grip them. How it would feel to kiss her, not just on her lips, but everywhere else too. Her jaw, her collarbones, her breasts, her stomach, her inner thighs...

She swallowed, feeling her hands furl up her skirt.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered, slipping one of her hands inside.

/x/x/x/

"Darkness!" Rainbow yelled, wrist moving so fast it blurred. "Imprisoning me! All that I see! Absolute horror! I cannot live! I cannot die! Trapped in myself! Body my holding cell!"

She, Sunset, Applejack, and Pinkie were finishing off their practice session with a cover song that Rainbow was interested in trying. There weren't any keyboard parts so she had picked the day that Rarity wouldn't be there in order to see if the other girls would be interested.

Everybody sans Fluttershy had really liked the idea, which was good since there was no tambourine part either. She was in the next room surveying the recording equipment, ensuring that Rainbow and the others would be able to go back and listen afterwards. She didn't particularly care for how loud and scary the second half of this song was, but she really enjoyed how pretty the first half had been.

The next two minutes consisted of Rainbow and Sunset's hands and Applejack's fingers moving near constantly, and through the soundproof glass of the school's music room she could tell that they were all having a great time. She smiled to herself. She loved that she could still help them do something even if it was something she herself had no desire to partake in.

When the song finally completed, the girls just stopped, standing still for a moment. They were all panting heavily. After this passed Rainbow let out a whoop before slipping the guitar from around her shoulders, and walked towards the amplifier to unplug it. The others followed suit and Fluttershy took this as her cue to open the door and turn off the microphone.

"My entire hand hurts," Sunset complained, wincing as she rubbed at her sore wrists. "But that was pretty fun."

"'Course it's fun," Applejack replied with a hearty pat to the back. "Now do y'all see why Rain and I love this music?"

"What?" Sunset asked, ears ringing.

"Hey Pinkie!" Rainbow shouted, placing her guitar on the stand. "You did great, but you gotta mind those sixteenth note triplets. I was hearing thirty-second notes instead at one part but honestly I like that more."

"Creative license!" She yelled back before chugging an entire water bottle. Pinkie's hair was tied back in the frizziest ponytail in all the world, and her tank top was practically soaked. When the bottle was empty she shoved the drumsticks in her hair before undoing all the pieces of the set.

"You girls look like you sounded great," Fluttershy offered, passing out more water. "I just hope I did the recording right."

"You always do," Rainbow said before thanking her and chugging half her own bottle before pouring the rest on her face. Her hair was tied in a messy bun, and her sports bra was slightly less wet than Pinkie's top. Well, from sweat. She began to roll her shoulders. "AJ, on point as always. And Sunset, nice job on the second solo. When we get the wah pedal backorder through, I'm sure you'll do wonders with it."

After the girls put their guitars away, they helped Pinkie with the rest of the drums, and then took care of the amplifiers and recording equipment. By the time everything was put fully away the sun had set, and the girls all put jackets on before heading to the parking lot.

"Man, I hate the time change," Rainbow complained. "It makes it so dark at night."

"Maybe if you went to bed at a reasonable hour then y'all'd appreciate seein' the sun earlier in the morning for those of who actually have things we need to do then."

Rainbow narrowed her eyes before flipping off Applejack. She in turn offered one of her own, prompting Rainbow to bring up her other hand for a second one. Applejack then flashed a second bird of her own before both girls dissolved in a fit of laughter.

"I just hate how gradually cold it gets," Sunset interjected, putting her hood up. "Back home in Equestria it was just boom, suddenly winter. It didn't help we have fur over there either... or heat magic."

"Yeah," Pinkie said in between mouthfuls of a cupcake nobody had seen her holding earlier. "I mean, I never feel cold anymore because of my thermo-thingamawhatsits, but I remember when winters were terrible cuz I've got bad circulation, like Twilight."

"Oh!" Sunset cried. "That reminds me..." she dug in her purse for her phone and typed out a quick message to Twilight. "We are done. We'll talk tomorrow. Hope you had fun with Rarity. Send. Alright, cool. You okay with taking us all home, Applejack?"

She merely shrugged. "If y'all are okay riding in it. Heater ain't the best but it beats walkin'."

"Shotgun!" yelled both Pinkie and Rainbow simultaneously. They immediately launched into a match of rock paper scissors: both threw rock, then both threw paper, then rainbow did rock as pinkie did paper. She cheered as Rainbow put her face in her hands.

"Every time..." she groaned, before climbing up into the back seat.

Sunset was halfway up into her own seat before she stopped.

"Need help, sugarcube?" Applejack asked.

"N... no..." Sunset pulled herself all the way up before putting her hand on her stomach. "It just feels like someone shoved an ice cube... up there."

"Yeesh," Rainbow muttered. "You feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, it passed. But is that normal for humans?"

The girls all shrugged.

"Well one of my ex boyfriends shoved one up there one time and it felt super amazing-"

"PINKIE, NO!"

/x/x/x/

Twilight sat panting, staring up at the ceiling, eyes still unfocused. Her underwear sat at her ankles, wet. She blinked, and the projected stars came together. The feeling had passed, the afterglow gone. Now she just felt cold.

She sat back up in her chair, feeling the unpleasant squelch of sweat underneath her thighs. She looked down at her legs, at her sticky fingers, and cursed at herself. She slipped one foot out and slowly brought herself to a standing position, using her elbows to keep balance on the desk.

Twilight glanced around the room before sighing and removing her skirt. She wiped the fluid on her hands as best as she could before wiping a dry bit on the chair. She reached down to pick up the panties and bunched them up inside the skirt before stepping over to an empty laundry hamper and plopping them in.

After a brief glance at the computer screen, she stormed over to it and made as if to hit alt f4, but paused. Sunset's smile made her feel sick. Dirty. Twilight instead clicked minimize and then put it to sleep before pulling off her jumper. She tossed it on her bed before removing her own shirt and bra, glaring at the glitter that fell to the floor.

"Great, I'll have to vacuum again..."

She tossed the remaining clothes in the basket before brushing off the remaining bits of shiny little synthetic plastic, or as much as she could get off. Some still stayed, especially after the earlier activity, and she clenched her fists. She took a deep breath and released it before striding to her closet.

Opening it up, she grabbed her fluffy lavender bathrobe and wrapped it around herself. She turned to the dresser and pulled open a shelf, picking out a pair of pajamas to wear. A flannel button-up top and a fuzzy pair of sweatpants. She closed the drawer and opened up another, pulling out a different pair of panties and a roll of fuzzy socks.

She stepped back over to the bed and laid the articles down before casting one last glare at the computer.

Suddenly her phone buzzed. She dug into the purse and luckily didn't have to spend as much time as she did earlier finding it. However, what she saw made her drop it immediately back in.

"Sunny3  
We are done. We'll talk tomorrow. Hope you had fun with Rarity."

Twilight took a step back and put her hands over her mouth, then on her temples.

"She knows, she knows, she knows, she knows, why did I do this, I'm so stupid..." she pulled her glasses off and tossed them haphazardly on the bed before putting her palms over her eyes and cursing again.

She heard scratching on her bedroom door and a small voice. "Hey, Twilight?"

She sniffed. "I'm fine, Spike."

"...no you're not."

She stormed to the door and put her hand on the knob. She took a deep, steadying breath and pulled it open.

"I'm fine."

Spike stepped forward and nuzzled her calf. "You know that I can smell feelings, right?" he reminded her. "You're upset about something and... well, I don't wanna talk about that other thing that just happened. But please, just... be careful. I'm here if you need me."

She bend down and picked him up, hugging him against her chest. He licked her cheek twice before nuzzling the crook of her neck.

"I know," she whispered.

The moment was interrupted by the doorbell. Spike barked twice before looking at Twilight and grinning sheepishly.

"Sorry... force of habit..."

Twilight put Spike back on the floor before turning to pick her wallet out of her purse, thumbing to the credit card in her parents' names. She then headed down the stairs to the front door, tying her robe as she walked. She'd tip with money, thank you very much.

She opened the door and beheld a familiar face.

"That's one large garden veg- oh, hey Twilight! Didn't know you lived here."

She nodded. "Flash Sentry, hello." That was his name, right?

His eyes traveled down to her bare legs for just a moment before he cleared his throat and looked back into her eyes. "So yeah, garden veggie with soy cheese, brings you to ten eighty five. How've you been?"

Twilight handed him the card before pulling the robe tighter around her body. "I've been... okay."

He swiped the card in his scanner before he bit his lip. "So uh..." he sniffed the air and then his face grew a little redder. "Got company over?"

Twilight put her palm on her forehead. Of course. "Nope. It's, uh... just me." Awkward. "Alone. By myself." Nobody else he could see, at least.

Flash gave back the card before handing over the pizza box with a receipt on top. "How's the, um... other Twilight?"

Twilight shrugged, filling out a generous tip. She wasn't paying for it, after all. And Flash was a nice enough guy, she just didn't really... gel well with him. Didn't help that he was in love with what was essentially her clone. But since the bus crash he had been in constant need of a pick-me-up.

[b]"Flash Flash."[/b]

[i]"No."[/i]

"Haven't seen her in a while. Sunset would know." A pang of guilt racked her stomach.

Flash glanced at the receipt then did a double take. "I'll ask her later then... thanks Twi." He grinned at her. "See ya around. You should order more pizzas."

Twilight nodded, giving the ghost of a friendly smile in return, but failing to make it reach her eyes. She slid the door shut with her foot, not seeing him turn back to see if she was still watching him. But she knew he did anyway.

She walked into the kitchen before setting the box on the counter. She wasn't hungry but she opened it anyway. They never cut the soy cheese pizzas themselves, which was her biggest pet peeve about the chain because...

[b]"Aww, it's so sweet that you know when I'm going to pay you a visit."[/b]

Twilight opened the silverware drawer and dug around for the round pizza slicer. The various knives glinted at her. Ignoring them, she eventually found what she was looking for, and removed the decorative orange plastic safety bit.

[b]"Let's have some fun."[/b]

"You had enough fun earlier today," Twilight replied. "Or did you already forget mind raping my best friend?"

[b]"Don't act like you didn't enjoy it, baby."[/b]

Twilight huffed, and began cutting. Twelfths, so it would last longer, and also so the individual pieces would be more satisfying.

"Only as far as sexual pleasure goes, but there are plenty of other girls out there."

[b]"Maybe so, but you don't love any of them. You're too much of a coward to pursue any of them. The only one you can see and talk to and hold and feel every day is her... that makes it so much more delicious to see her naked body sprawled across that bed, in that picture you were never meant to see..."[/b]

Twilight looked over her shoulder at Midnight, leaning cockily against the wall. She licked her lips as Twilight rolled her eyes and finished the last cut.

"You can influence me to explore my sexuality but you have no power over me-"

Before she could even take a breath to finish her sentence, Midnight shoved Twilight into the counter. She grabbed Twilight's hand and forced it around the pizza cutter, and held it against her throat. With the other hand she stroked Twilight's hair, cold fingers sending wave after wave of deathly chills down her back.

[b]"IS THAT SO?"[/b] she snarled, pressing the blade into Twilight's skin. [b]"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, my dear, but I seem to have immense power over you. Unless, of course, you WANT to slice your own neck open."[/b]

Spike started barking.

[b]"How tragic that would be. How horrifying for your parents to come home to. How sad for your dog to watch, wondering why you turned red and grew colder and colder, and then stopped moving. How sad for your friends to know that they never got a chance to say goodbye, to always wonder if it was their fault, to have to attend your funeral. What do you think Sunset will say at your eulogy?"[/b]

"Please let me go!" she cried, trying feebly to move her other arm anywhere but pinned under her chest, useless. "Don't hurt me, I'm sorry!"

Suddenly the pressure was gone, and Twilight pulled herself up, throwing the cutter across the room, smashing into a utensil basket and scattering its contents on the floor. She fell to the floor on her knees, coughing, sobbing. Spike came running up and began licking her hand. She pulled him in and started stroking his fur.

"You're stronger than her..."

Twilight merely shook her head no. She wiped away the tears with the back of one hand before feeling her throat. Her fingers came away with red dots. Spike licked them away.

[b]"Have you learned not to argue with me, pig?"[/b]

Twilight nodded.

[b]"Good... now about that eulogy. I actually doubt if she'd come when she realizes you not only purposefully sought out her personal, private nude photos, but... you masturbated to them? Disgusting. You can't even blame me for that one, that one was all you."[/b]

Twilight didn't respond, she just sat and wept.

[b]"Enjoy your pizza."[/b] and with that, Midnight turned and walked away.

/x/x/x/


	3. TFW You Reach Your Last Resort

**A/N**

 **I just made this up from scratch as I went along because drafting is for LOSERS who don't hate themselves. This is also a lot more depressing, gory, racy, and unbalanced in tone than I wanted it to be, but alas.**

 **edit- okay what idiot decided to break html editing since the last time I was on this website**

 **TW: cutting**

/x/x/x/

When Twilight stood back up with Spike, she looked over at the clock. She'd cried with him for twenty seven minutes, give or take a few seconds. That was the worst that Midnight had ever been.

She glanced at the mess, at the spatulas and wooden spoons and whisks littering the kitchen floor. Not a mess she wanted to clean up right now. All she wanted was to sit in the shower for a while, alone with her thoughts. Hopefully alone.

"Are you gonna be okay?" he asked, between licks to her throat.

"...yeah." she croaked, raw from sobbing, before setting him down on the floor. "No chewing on the utensils."

"Yeah, yeah..." he muttered, padding off into the living room.

Twilight closed the pizza box and walked it over to the oven, sliding it onto the pizza stone on one of the grilles. She looked down to her feet at the pizza cutter, which was red along the edges, and not just from tomato sauce. She bit her lip before reaching down to the tool, and glanced at her reflection. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, her glasses askew, and the scratch on her neck was still dripping slightly. Luckily it wasn't enough to stain her robe.

Still, after dropping the cutter into the sink, swearing to clean it off later, she pulled out a few paper towels and pressed them under her chin, holding them in place as she slipped out of her robe. She crossed the fabric over one arm and her free hand pressed into the paper before she headed back to the stairs.

Twilight wouldn't exactly call herself a naturist, but the lifestyle had definitely been a passing curiosity in her younger years. And not just because of seeing naked girls closer to her own age rather than to her mother's. She would never go to a resort or participate in social nudity, and in fact even dreaded changing in public locker rooms even when alone, but if she was alone and in private, she didn't mind shedding her clothes, provided the temperature was befitting. She did avoid windows, however; she was no exhibitionist.

i' _Not like Sunset...'_ /i

"Shut up..." she whispered to her traitorous mind before moving up the steps on her way back to her bedroom. After dipping in and setting the robe down on her mattress, she dug her cell phone out of her purse to see that she had two text messages.

"Rainbow

hey twi we did a cover song today. u prob wouldnt like it but i found a version some guys did with cellos. ulink/u lemme know what u think."

"Sunny3

Hey Twilight I have a potentially awkward science question about the human body. If I feel like an ice cube is inside my vagina. Is that a bad thing?"

"...Sunset what the fuck..." Twilight whispered to herself, her cheeks coloring as she thought of Sunset's vagina.

i' _I'd stick more than an ice cube up there.'_ /i

"No," she muttered as she slid right on Rainbow's message. "Hey," she began. "I'm about to go take a shower but I can listen to it when I come out." Her thumb hesitated over the 'send' key before she continued. "But when I do can I also ask you a potentially weird lesbian related question? Send."

She went back to her other messages and clicked on Sunset's text. She analyzed the prior 'We are done' message with a critical eye. Maybe she just meant they were done with band practice. She was a psychic but she wasn't omniscient. With how short and blunt her replies were compared to how she normally typed, it seemed that she was upset, but either she was no longer upset anymore or she was never upset and it was merely cold. That was probably it.

"I'm not sure if it's bad per se. You are a horse after all. As long as it isn't burning and there is no discharge it should be fine. Sometimes vaginas are just weird. Send."

i' _Interesting how she felt cold down there right after you flicked the bean. Coincidence?_ /i

"Ugh," she groaned before striding to her desk and pulling open the second drawer down. Her phone buzzed. She pulled out the pill bottle and popped one into her hand and dry swallowing it.

i' _I thought you hated feeling like a zombie.'_ /i

"Be quiet," she ordered before putting the bottle away and walking back to her bed, sitting down next to her purse and flipping her phone back open. Rainbow had responded.

'Cool. And yeah, sure, I'm always down for those ;)'

Twilight rolled her eyes and chuckled before tapping out her reply. "Have you ever accidentally found your crush's nudes? Send." And with that she grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom just around the corner from her bedroom door.

It was a nice bathroom if a bit small. Basic white tile floor, basic light brown walls, basic toilet, but really nice pearl handled faucet for a sink inlaid into a dark marble counter, and the shower took up the far wall. The showerhead was removable which was... strictly for cleanliness purposes. Yeah. There was no curtain, simply sliding frosted glass doors.

She set her clothes down on the seat before reaching in and turning on the water. First she turned the cold knob to max, then flipped from the lower spout to the upper head, and then she turned the hot water to max. After waiting for a moment she gave the cold water half a turn down before reaching her hand under the stream. Once it got to be lukewarm she set her glasses on the sink counter, removed the ties from her hair, and stepped in under the water.

After a minute of letting it beat down on her skin, she reached over and bumped the cold down slightly more, raising the temperature by a few degrees, and ran her hair under the stream. The warmth spread from her scalp down the back of her neck and through the rest of her body, out to each extremity. She breathed a sigh of relief as she felt her muscles relax, letting the stress of the day melt away. Her brain still worried, of course, as it always did, but her back and shoulders were now about as carefree as Pinkie Pie on her best days.

She reached over to her shampoo bottle, 'midnight rose' scented, and squeezed out a fair amount into her palm. She took a step forward and began lathering up her scalp, gently rubbing her nails into the skin underneath the hair. As she did so she turned around and let the water rain down on her chest and stomach before maneuvering her hands to her occiputal region underneath the main bulk of her hair.

Her mind brought her back to her first date with Rainbow Dash a few years ago. It certainly had not ended well, being coated in milkshake from some jerk who had a problem with the two girls being in a relationship. Rainbow had to scrub at her hair for several minutes washing away all the milk, cream, and sugar. In a way she was glad it happened, though, as the experience had brought them closer together as friends, even if their romantic exploits didn't last.

She rinsed her hair of the soap before grabbing the conditioner and massaging it into the wet strands hanging down to her mid-back.

Twilight smiled as she remembered the good times she'd had with her first girlfriend. The smile faded as her memories came closer to their breakup. It was certainly mutually amicable, but still bittersweet nonetheless. They had decided that it was better to just be platonic. "Les' be friends" Rainbow had joked. Their friendship was strong, and despite having a set of very different if not polar opposite interests, their bond was worth too much to throw away trying to force each other to love the other in more than a platonic sense.

Twilight stepped back and placed her foot on the raised ledge of the bathtub half of the shower. She rain her hand up and down her shin. There was barely any stubble, so she decided to put off shaving her legs for one more day.

While it was true that Pinkie liked girls, she also liked guys as well, and in fact preferred them. Applejack and Rarity were definitely straight, Fluttershy sought platonic life partners rather than datemates, and Sunset... well, she probably liked horses. Regardless, Rainbow was the only one of her close friends who was strictly homosexual and so could really understand such a core tenet of her personality. That was why it wasn't really weird or embarrassing to talk to Rainbow about her sexuality, since Rainbow was the same way.

Twilight squeezed out a dollop of hair removal lotion, split it evenly between her hands, and began to apply it to her underarms. Once completed she rinsed her hands of the foul smelling solution and rested her wrists on top of her head, mentally counting down the seconds before the exact amount of time it took to work.

At first, Rainbow was mildly uncomfortable with the prospect of talking about that kind of thing, but soon she realized that it wasn't really discomfort with the act of discussing their sexuality, but the unfamiliarity of finally having a sapphic friend who understood what it was like to find girls significantly prettier than most 'normal' ie straight girls would. Once past that roadblock, however, it became so much easier to just be able to sit around and talk freely about her attractions without constantly glancing up to make sure she didn't say too much and make her conversational partner feel uncomfortable by the mentioning of the alien emotions.

Twilight didn't have that specific problem, however. Rainbow had had friends to talk to about things, just not about gay things. Twilight just never had anyone to talk to who wasn't family or her baker's dozen of therapists she'd had over the course of her life. Friendship in general was a new thing for her, so luckily the individual problems were nothing compared to the big picture. The anxiety she felt when discussing her sexuality was the exact same as what she felt the first time she was invited to Pinkie's house for a sleepover, or went shopping at the mall with Rarity, or volunteered with Fluttershy at the animal shelter. After the first few times she did those things, she just shrugged off the panic, and for a time everything was going swimmingly.

The correct amount of time had passed, and so Twilight stepped back under the water, washing away the lotion and the tiny bits of underarm hair that had started to poke through her skin, leaving it smooth as silk. She then followed up by washing the conditioner out of her hair and combing through the long strands with her fingers, briefly losing herself in the stim.

She wouldn't say that Rainbow was the only friend she shared a common bond with. But she was the only one she shared two distinctly separate ones with. Though they had different "tiers" as one might say, they were both still very much autistic. Perhaps that was part of why they were so easily able to talk to each other about abstract concepts like lesbianism? She didn't think too much about theories like that, though. It was simply a different methodology of processing information. But regardless, she wouldn't say that Rainbow was either her best or her closest friend, but she certainly wasn't at the bottom of either list. Not by a long shot.

Twilight grabbed her washcloth and squeezed her shower gel into it, lavender lemon scented, then took a bit of brown sugar infused body scrub and mixed it in. She turned around and stepped forward out of the water for a moment before she began applying the mixture to her skin. She began rubbing on her upper stomach as an anchor point before going in other directions. Between and under her breasts, down both arms, down both legs, then turning around and getting her back. The soles of her feet came next, then her underarms, and then lastly her pubic region. Once she was satisfied that every square inch of her body was clean, she hung the washcloth over the bar and removed the showerhead, rinsing everything.

And no, she didn't pay any 'special attention' to any specific parts. This time.

Once finished, she turned the cold water down slightly more than it already had been, and elected to stand in the now-steaming water for a few minutes.

If she devoted any amount of time and thought into it, Twilight would probably end up saying that her closest friend was Sunset, and that her best friend was Rarity. Sure, Fluttershy was an absolute joy to be around, Applejack was probably the most dependable person in the world, Pinkie was pretty much the glue that held the seven together, and Rainbow was her easiest, most effortless, and probably strongest friendship, but Sunset was the only one who could understand the dark magic that possessed her and what it was like being an outcast shunned by all, and Rarity was just... the best.

She could sit and talk to Rarity for hours if they had the time. She could confide in Rarity all of the things that nobody else in the group would hear, whether because it was sappy or too personal or just beyond the scope of understanding of. She could be as physically affectionate with Rarity as she wanted to, and it would never make her uncomfortable or falsely come off as anything other than pure and chaste. She could ask a hundred questions about fashion and social etiquette and all the things that couldn't be learned in books and never once be called or even feel annoying. In fact, all the soap she had used in the past few minutes, all the makeup she was now comfortable with wearing, and pretty much every single article of clothing she owned and would leave her home in was selected by and bought with Rarity.

Rarity was the only girl, the only person outside of her family, that Twilight was perfectly comfortable with saying she loved with all her heart.

Only occasionally would she feel a little bit upset that Rarity was heterosexual, but that would always pass quickly since there was no sense getting upset that somebody's preferences didn't include someone of her gender. Creator knew that she had more than enough experience being on the receiving end of those feelings, and she didn't want to put anyone else through that. And besides, considering her past with Rainbow, it was probably best that there were no mutual romantic feelings present after all. One day Twilight would find someone who felt the same way about her that she did about them.

A pang of sadness hit her as she thought this. Though the medication had kicked in and blocked the unwanted voice at the back of her head, she had grown so accustomed to it that she knew it would have reminded her of her huge crush on Sunset. She gently lowered herself to the shower floor, putting her knees in her chest and letting the water beat down on her back. It was unavoidable to have ended up getting emotional, as it always happens. Eventually her mind always dragged her thoughts back to the forever-unattainable Sunset Shimmer. Except now she had the added guilt of having done... what she did.

b" **That's right, my dear,"** /b Midnight said, perched on the toilet back and to Twilight's right. b" **You did something bad, and this is your punishment. It's a good thing you cleaned yourself up before realizing that. We wouldn't want to go back to skipping showers, now would we?"** /b She cackled from her roost as Twilight hid her head between her legs, waiting for her to leave.

b" **Oh, don't be so morose. Are you still upset about earlier? Fine, I'll set out some concealer so you don't get questioned when you go into school tomorrow."** /b Through the frosted glass, if Twilight were looking up she would see the faint outline of Midnight pulling open a drawer, rifling through one of the makeup bags, and setting a bottle of lavender makeup on the counter.

b" **There you go, Princess Pouty-pants. Don't say I never did anything for you. You're welcome, by the way, not that you would be courteous enough to thank me for going out of my way to help spare you some shame and humiliation. But then again, you are being uncharacteristically nice by not whining and griping about how it was all my fault that I made you cut your throat in the first place, because you're the one who upset me first by saying I don't have any power. So I suppose I'll take your silence as thanks enough. Do finish up soon, though, I surmise you only have seven more minutes of hot water left. Ta ta!"** /b

And with that, Midnight opened the bathroom door, left, and closed it behind her. The hot, stinging tears running down Twilight's face made the shower's water feel ice cold in comparison. She turned her eyes up to look at her wrists. The crossed cuts taunted her. She could vividly remember each individual one, the days when she made them, the way she lost her sense of self control more and more easily each and every time. It was now to the point that her left hand had grabbed the razor without her even noticing.

"Please don't..." she whispered as her hands undid the cage holding the blades in place. It was a cheap and shoddy design, a product that had been taken off of the store shelves on account of it was far too easy to fall apart, so one she had had to order off of the internet from across the ocean. It's not accurate to say that she was controlling her own body at the time. The razor came apart in her hands, and the strips of metal glinted at her.

"Stop..." Her free hand reached over and grabbed one of the blades by her fingertips, tilting it back and forth. This one was brand new out of the box. "Don't do this today, please just let me go..." To no avail, her hands continued to move of their own accord. It was like inside of her brain, she was frantically pressing all of the buttons on the control panel, but nothing was going through and it just kept going; like watching a horror movie and trying to press pause because it's right at the worst part but the remote's batteries chose that exact moment to pop out.

Helplessly, Twilight sat and watched as she placed one edge of the blade on the skin of her wrist. She'd made the same cut on the other side just a few days ago, so she knew exactly where to go and what to do and how it would feel and how much blood would come out and how long it would trickle down for. Her hand applied pressure, digging the blade under the skin, until it broke the elasticity and penetrated.

"FUCK!" she felt herself cry, as the pain shot up her arm. A droplet popped out and slid down, slowly, stopping at her cubital fossa. "Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it" she continued to mutter as she drug the blade across, widening the cut and releasing more blood. Rivulets of crimson continued to pump out, staining her arm red. It continued to sting.

Her hand took that moment to stop, and she set the blade down next to the rest of them. It rested on her knee and she sat watching herself bleed until the water suddenly turned to ice. She sat for a minute more until her teeth began chattering, and her body began to shake, and she reached back to turn the water off. She continued to sit, shivering, until the blood stopped flowing, and began to dry. It would be easier to clean that way.

After that, she finally regained control of her motor functions.

Twilight stood up, pulling herself up with her good arm, until she was fully stood up. She grabbed her washcloth and stepped over to sit by the faucet. She turned the bath on very slightly, hot water all the way maxed. She ran the washcloth underneath it, wetting it again, and cursed the fact that it was still cold. She then rubbed gently on the stains up until a few inches below the cut itself. The high off of the endorphins was starting, but it was severely muted from how often it happened, and didn't even feel good anymore. She just felt tired.

Once all the bulky bits were washed out, she ran the cloth under the water until there was no more red in the runoff after she squeezed it. Once satisfied it was completely clean, Twilight hung it back on the bar before stepping out onto the bath mat. She was mostly air dried now, and very cold, but she welcomed it. The general feeling of misery and dull pain was enough to distract her from the concentrated stabbing heat in her arm. Her heartbeat made it begin to throb, and she winced each time.

Twilight stepped over to the sink and put on her glasses. She pulled open one of the drawers for the often-used first aid kit, the nearly empty bottle of hydrogen peroxide, and the last few cotton swabs. She started the micro-scale cleanup, being sure to use as much of the peroxide as she had left to ensure that no infection would happen. She had to clear a day in her schedule to secretly go buy some more everything for the next time that this would happen, because she knew that it wasn't the last time.

Not by a long shot.

After several minutes of cleaning up, Twilight eventually got as much of the blood as she was going to get off of her wrist. She shook the bottle to get a sense for how much was left. About half a shot's worth.

"No."

This time her hands obeyed her, and she screwed the lid back on, setting it carefully back in its home. She tossed the empty box of the swabs in the garbage bin and opened up the first aid kit. She pulled out several bandages and put them over the cut, then wrapped the long gauze pad over, keeping light but not too light pressure on it. She secured the adhesive in place before putting the kit away. With a glance to her clothes she analyzed that it would be hard to put them all back on one-handed, so she merely grabbed them and walked to her room without them on.

Twilight haphazardly tossed the clothing onto her bed before picking up her phone and carefully crawling over to rest her head on the pillows. She flipped it open to see she now had four texts.

"Rainbow  
umm i kinda asked for all the nudes ive ever seen XD there was no accident, lmao. why do u ask? whos the lucky lady? 0.o"

"Sunny3  
Well, that's kind of a relief I guess. I know about STIs and stuff but I mean. Virgin. Haha. And it did pass eventually, so I'm glad for that. It was just a little bit weird. Anyways, we kinda missed you today. How was Rarity's thing?"

"Rarity3

I HAVE SIX ORDERS ALREADY!

THANK YOU SO MUCH TWILIGHT!"

"Pinkie

Heyyy Twi Twi just wanted 2 let u know that I made u another cake and wanted 2 no if like. U wanted to have ur two and a half year anniversary party 2morrow instead of today? Bcuz if u do that would be super duper coolio!"

Despite her earlier activity, Twilight still had a small smile on her face. Even if she had this problem for another year, or several, or even for the rest of her life, she knew she always was welcome with her friends.

Well...

b" **Until they find out about your perversion..."** /b Midnight whispered from the chair before the computer.

Twilight ignored her as she tapped out replies. "Of course you would have colon P, but what about if you, for example, saw someone you had a crush on naked in the locker room or something. And it's nobody in particular, I'm just curious is all. Send."

b" **Liar."** /b

"I would hope you don't have any of those. I'm not sure how they would affect you since your blood type is different. And same, LMAO. But I'm glad you're not hurting anymore. I missed you all too, and Rainbow told me what happened today. I'm a little sad I missed out, but I had a lot of fun with Rarity. Send."

b" **Oh yes, you sure did. And then you came home and had a lot more fun..."** /b

"That's such exciting news. I'm glad I could be of service. What kinds of orders did you get and how much are you going to make off of it. And you're very welcome, just let me know if you need any more maintenance work done on any of your blogs. Send."

b" **I bet you'd like to do maintenance on one blog in particular."** /b

"You can stop that at any time, you know. That would be really cool, Pinkie. I would love to do that with you girls. Every party you throw is a fun one. Send. What are you even doing over there?"

b" **Oh, nothing... just looking at the other pictures of Sunset on here.** /b

Twilight dropped her phone directly onto her face.

"THE WHAT!?" she cried, sitting up and looking over at the computer, seeing nothing but her desktop background and a cruelly simpering Midnight.

b" **My oh my,"** /b she chuckled. b" **I didn't think that would work. You really are a dirty girl after all.** /b

The only response Twilight could muster was a glare, which only made Midnight's laughter stronger.

b" **Although I do wonder if there are any others..."** /b Midnight gripped the mouse and clicked on the window, bringing it up to full screen. There was Sunset again; still smiling, still beautiful, and still naked.

Twilight's eyes widened.

b" **Oh, don't look so shocked. I'm a being of pure magical energy, I can do whatever I want."** /b She began scrolling, and Twilight couldn't help but step over and watch the screen. She was more fascinated by the fact that Midnight was able to do this. There was a little bit of fear, yes, but the scientific curiosity was currently winning over, and she let it.

There were more of the same types of photographs. A nude woman sunbathing on a beach. One woman kissing another on the inner thigh. A woman in lingerie. A woman's buttocks on a bed. A nude woman with a lotus flower covering her vagina. A woman's stomach covered in hickeys. Another woman in lingerie. A familiar-looking buttocks with a familiar-looking tattoo wearing a lacy scarlet thong and matching garter belt.

b" **...for the record I did not plan this."** /b Midnight whispered as she turned to face Twilight's blushing face. b" **But this is glorious, wouldn't you agree?"** /b

Well. She wasn't wrong.

Twilight's mouth fell open as she felt her stomach turn again. She'd seen Sunset's butt in a bikini before. But this? Hot. As. Fuck. Twilight bit her lip as she realized her eyes weren't moving at all, nor did they have any desire to. Subconsciously she began slowly rubbing her thighs together, and her good hand rested gently on her lower stomach.

b" **I'll just leave you two alone then... heh..."** /b Midnight stood up and walked over to the bed, putting her hands behind her head and making herself right at home.

Twilight took her place and sat in front of the computer screen.

"Maybe it's not her..." she muttered, hand crawling lower on her body. Her middle finger was resting on the top of her pubic hair. "Maybe it's just another girl with a similar mark?"

She snapped her hand to the mouse.

"It might not actually be her, right?" No response. She scrolled back up to the earlier picture of maybe not but probably Sunset, and studied her face. If it wasn't actually Sunset, maybe it was her twin sister, or clone, or...

Wait, that's it!

Twilight had no idea why Rarity's blog lead to this one but she thought she had an idea as to why there were nude photos of her closest friend on it. Because this wasn't her closest friend at all! Surely this must have been the other Sunset, the one who was in this world first, right? After all, when the other Twilight came through the portal, she herself was already there. Maybe the same thing happened here? Maybe this was just some random stranger who happened to look exactly like someone she knew?

Twilight also noticed a mark on the bottom of the photograph. There was a little picture of a sunset next to a pound key, possibly this 'hashtag' phenomenon that Pinkie and Rainbow had talked about many times. She clicked it, and the page turned white before showing the picture again, but this time she could see both the first nude photo and the garter belt photo on the same screen. She was about to scroll down but hesitated.

Even if this was the other Sunset, they still looked exactly alike. Looking at pictures of this Sunset may not have been the exact same as seeing pictures of the Sunset that she knew, but she still knew what the Sunset she knew looked like naked because she now knew what this Sunset looked like naked. To put it in perspective, if the other Twilight had come into this world and had nude photographs taken of herself for whatever reason and had them posted on the internet, her own social life would be doomed because everybody would know what she looked like naked as well, and that prospect was a nightmare and a half.

It was this thought that lead her to move the mouse to the X box at the top right of the screen, but she still hesitated before clicking.

Then again, if this really was the Sunset she knew, she seemed to have been fully aware that the pictures were being taken, even taking the first one herself. Would it really have been a violation of her privacy then if she made these photographs and presumably gave people permission to upload them to the computer? And if it wasn't the Sunset she knew, and it was the other one, Sunset honestly probably wouldn't even care that people knew what she looked like naked. She was a horse from a society where clothing was optional. In fact, Twilight vaguely recalled a rumor from when Sunset was still new to this world where she accidentally streaked across campus.

Would she actually care? The problem wasn't that Twilight didn't want to see Sunset naked, because she always had. The problem was that she didn't want Sunset to be disgusted or feel betrayed or embarrassed by any of this. But thinking about it a little more, would Sunset really be any of those things by knowing that Twilight saw nude photographs of her?

Sunset was really open about her body with Twilight just earlier, talking about phantom icy pains in her vagina. Twilight would probably have an anxiety attack if she talked about her own vagina to anybody, except for maybe Rarity, Rainbow, or Sunset herself, but even then under only the most extreme dire circumstances.

Twilight knew that Rarity, Fluttershy, and even Pinkie Pie occasionally shared personal photos with each other seeking body positivity, since they were all... well, not really that sexually into girls. Applejack didn't participate on account of her very conservative sensibilities and Rainbow didn't participate because she had confidence enough in her own body but not really any confidence in complimenting her friends' nude forms without putting her foot so far in her mouth she'd have bite marks on her knees since the only word she was really comfortable using was 'sexy'.

Twilight would have participated in that kind of thing if she, well, was okay with showing her body to anybody else, and if she wouldn't have crippling guilt spirals over seeing them nude as well. Judging by her reaction to seeing Sunset earlier, it was probably for the best that she was never asked, and that she herself never asked either.

But since they were okay with it, and Sunset wasn't into girls (or, at least, human girls; she did once drunkenly admit to having sex with Starlight Glimmer in her pony form one time), who's to say that she didn't privately join in their ring? She probably did, and utilizing Occam's Razor, either she did and was fully ready and willing to consent to having these photographs on the internet for all to see, or she isn't the one in these photographs in the first place and wouldn't care.

b" **You are very good at rationalizing your perversion."** /b

Twilight grit her teeth, and then realized she was staring at Sunset's boobs the entire time she was thinking. Not that she blamed herself, they were really nice, probably Cs if she were eyeballing them. Which she was. Electing to ignore Midnight and not let her feel any worse than she was already, she bit the bullet and scrolled.

It was another picture of Sunset, but this time it was multiple photos. The first one was of her in a crop tank top and panties, the second was of her removing them, and the third was of a small teddy bear covering her vagina while her legs were spread. She scrolled again. It was another picture of Sunset, wearing nothing but a bra and underwear, in the midst of either removing or putting on a shirt. She scrolled again. It was another picture of Sunset, this one focused on her collarbones and jawline.

She scrolled again, and her heart stopped. Sunset was on her knees facing the camera, legs spread slightly. She had a hair tie in her mouth, and her hands were putting her beautiful scarlet and cadmium yellow hair into a very messy bun. She was grinning, and her eyes were playful, childlike, innocent, and in stark contrast to her stark nudity.

"...oh my."

With her arms up, her breasts were more taut and perky than they were in the first photograph. They were also a hell of a lot cuter since her nipples were a lot smaller and pointier. But that's not where Twilight's eyes were drawn.

"...fuck..."

Seeing movement on her left, she turned to see Midnight holding out her... phallic vibrating personal pleasure device. Which had been locked away in a shoebox in a safe in her closet underneath several blankets. And unused. And empty of batteries.

b" **Don't worry..."** /b Midnight snickered as she turned it on. b" **I took care of the batteries."** /b

Twilight hesitantly reached out for the device. It was definitely real, and it was definitely vibrating. She turned to the photograph on the computer screen again, and made a split second decision she would come to later regret. She slowly brought the device down, and began to masturbate for the second time that day.

/x/x/x/

Rarity finished typing out the final sentence on her seventh new order of the night. Her blog had surged in popularity and now she was set on work for the next month and a half. Over four thousand dollars would be finding its way into her pocket for merely spending one and a half hours a day for the next forty two days sewing and stitching.

She pressed enter, leaned back, and sighed.

"Business before pleasure..." she breathed to herself. Glancing over at her bedroom door to ensure that it was locked, she moved her chair back slightly, stood up, and began to remove her clothing. She placed a clean towel on her chair before sitting back down and clicking a few times to a little secret that nobody except for maybe Twilight knew.

She paused for a moment. Twilight was a lesbian after all and surely wouldn't judge her at all for this, right?

The webpage fully loaded, revealing her pride and joy, the reason why she even made any blog in the first place. Back when she was just thirteen years old and realized that she was actually bisexual, as liking both boys AND girls, she started a secret hidden blog to collect photographs of women that she found attractive. At first it was just pretty girls, celebrities in beautiful dresses (dresses that would inspire her choices in career), girls chastely kissing other girls, and famous people who were just like her. But then as she got older and started becoming actually sexually active, her blog started to become more racy and adult-oriented and truly NSFW.

She had no idea how the website worked behind the scenes, but she knew the basics. She knew how to post things, like things, share things, how to click a button to change the wallpaper to pink and blue with a tiny bit of lavender. And she knew how to make the photographs into a randomized slideshow. A very sexy one at that.

And that was all she needed.

After getting everything set up, she reached into the bottom drawer in her desk for a lockbox with a four digit passcode she would never tell anybody for as long as she was alive. Inside was a set of fake male genitalia and a gag. She put the ball into her mouth and the faux penis on the towel before slowly lowering herself down on it, and she began pleasuring herself to the many photos of pretty, pretty girls.

And nobody was any the wiser.

/x/x/x/

Sunset had just laid down to go to sleep when her vagina felt like it had an ice cube inside of it for the second time in a few hours. She then cursed the heavens, Princess Celestia, and Starswirl the Bearded.

/x/x/x/

A/N

 **I gave minor spoilers to my fic Milkshake, which is a prequel to this fic, but it's not required reading. I also read through the chapter twice and the "inconsistencies" in Rarity's character are purposeful. Also I hate to disappoint people but if you came here for clop, you're reading the wrong story. This is an angsty fic about struggling with mental illness and being gay, not a happy fic about masturbating to your attractive friends.**


	4. TFW You Put Pineapple On Your Pizza

/x/x/x/

"Egghead

Of course you would have :P but what about if you, for example, saw someone you had a crush on naked in the locker room or something? And it's nobody in particular, I'm just curious is all."

'Oh yeah, sure Twilight, because you ask me so many random questions about this stuff, huh?' Rainbow thought to herself, leaning back on Applejack's couch. She silently tapped out her response before taking a swig of cider. The hard stuff.

'Idk I mean I've seen lots and lots of girls I've been sorta attracted to in the showers after like every single game for the past several years and it hasn't really been much of a deal. It would be different if it was a nude pic tho because those are usually sexy, ya know? But yeah, I've never seen one on accident. Like I said, I always asked for them. I probably can't help on that but I can ask who it was and where I can find it ;)'

"Woohoo! Get wrecked AJ!" Pinkie cried from by the TV as Meta Knight smashed Yoshi out of the stage.

"Consarnit Pinkie! I knew I shoulda picked Marth instead of goin' random!"

Pinkie's phone buzzed.

"Hey Dashie, what did Twilight say?"

Rainbow leaned over to glance at her new messages. "She says that'd be cool and she'd love to and that your parties are always fun. Should I say something back to her?"

"Nah," Pinkie replied, beating the crap out of Applejack's avatar again as she spoke. "I'll just wait until after you beat me next round."

"If y'all even make it there!" Applejack cried before she lost her second to last life. "I could make a comeback!"

Pinkie giggled. "No you can't." The doorbell rang. "Oohh, pizza's here!"

"I'll get it," Rainbow supplied, standing up and cracking her knuckles. "My turn to pay anyway," she continued as she reached for her messenger bag and dug out her wallet. On her way to the door she pulled out two twenties before sticking the leatherbound Daring Do-marked piece of leather in the waistband of her underwear beneath her sweatpants.

Opening it revealed a familiar face.

"One large meat lovers and one large mushroom with half pineapple," he said. "Hey Rainbow."

"'Sup Flash," she greeted, handing over the cash and taking the two boxes. "Busy night?"

"Yeah actually. Just came from Twilight's house. The, uh. Other Twilight. This one." He opened his fanny pack and began to pull out the proper change. "You know what I don't get is why she'll answer the door in a bathrobe and you'll answer in a tank top when it's almost freezing outside."

"Wait, Twilight's house?" she asked. "And she was there? Thought she was at Rarity's. Oh well. You can keep the change, by the way; I owe you big for the wah pedal. How's June?"

"Oh sweet, thanks Rain! Appreciate that," he exclaimed, putting the coins back away and sticking the bills in before zipping it back up. "And she's fine, her leg's getting better. Right now she's waiting on the heating pad for me to get my rounds done and come home to give her a shoulder rub."

"Yeah, not good to keep a girlfriend waiting... You can quit staring at my boobs any time now."

"What? I- uh, um, I... what?" He stammered, blushing and looking everywhere but at the girl.

Rainbow burst out laughing. "I'm just messin' with ya, man! If I saw me in this I'd steal a glance or two too, especially how cold it is. But yeah, get home safe, don't get in another accident."

He breathed out a huge sigh of relief. "Okay good. For a second there I was worried you were actually mad at me. Twi seemed like she was mad at me too... but yeah, I... yeah, thanks. Have a good night, and tell the others I said hey!" And with that he walked back to his car.

"...probably too rough with him, but eh, he's a tough kid..." Rainbow muttered to herself as she brought the food into the living room to Applejack leaning in on her knees, excitedly cheering at her little green egg layer.

"I told you I could make a comeback! Do it, do it, do it! Who's gettin' wrecked now, huh Pink- wait a second... you're just messin' with me, aren't ya?"

"Heehee, yup!" Pinkie laughed, as she pressed one button and sent Applejack flying.

"Game!" the television cried as AJ slumped her shoulders in defeat.

"Food's here," Rainbow interjected, setting the boxes down on the coffee table. "AJ, your meat, and Pinkie, your disgusting abomination that stands in direct defiance against all that is good and holy."

"Mm-mm, delicious heresy!" Pinkie cried before taking a slice with plenty of pineapple. "I jusht hope they sherve pitsha in tartarush!" She mumbled through a mouthful of food.

"Also Flash says hi."

A brief smile crossed over Applejack's face as Rainbow said this, before she filled her mouth with a slice of her own. Rainbow noticed but didn't say anything. She hated just standing by and watching her friends deal with unrequited feelings and not being able to do anything about it or say anything to help.

Her phone buzzed. She reached over to grab it and her eyes widened.

"Hey, uh..." she looked between her friends. "You guys have a rematch, I gotta take care of something."

/x/x/x/

'it was sunset and I did something really bad and really stupid and I hurt myself again and I didn't want to but I did it anyway and now it hurts and I hate myself-'

clear message

"I told you, it was nobody. Send."

'okay I lied it was sunset and she's really super hot which I mean I already kinda thought anyway but now I know it because I saw her nudes on a blog and I did something I'm not proud of and then I hurt myself again-'

clear message

"Just a random little curiosity, haha. Send."

'I saw sunset's nudes and didn't really expect it at all and it affected me a lot more than it should have because midnight is here and she made me do it and I didn't want to do it but I did it and then I felt bad so I cut myself again-'

clear message

"I really liked the song, by the way. Colon capital D. Send."

Twilight set her phone outside of the blanket she had pulled over her head, bathing herself again in darkness. Her knees were in her chest and she was crying again.

After her second orgasm of the night, which was slower (and drier) than the first, Midnight had of course taunted her more even though it was technically her actions that put Twilight in the position she was in. She didn't tell that to the demon, though. She didn't want Midnight to hurt her for backtalking again. Instead, she hid under the blankets like she did when she was a little girl.

It was there she stayed as Rainbow texted her response. Twilight wanted to tell her what had happened so badly, to share her struggles with the one friend who would probably understand more than any of the others, but at the last second changed her mind. She didn't want to burden Rainbow with the negatives. That was part of the reason they had broken up, after all; Twilight had emotionally relied on Rainbow entirely too much, and hadn't been able to be as supportive in return to help Rainbow with her own insecurities.

She then scanned through the rest of the list of her friends. Sunset was out as she was the root of the problem, or at least Twilight's feelings for her were. Rarity was out as well since she'd find out that Twilight had been snooping through her blog and found that other one. Applejack wouldn't really focus on the right part of the problem, Fluttershy might have a panic attack, and Pinkie Pie would probably spill the beans on accident in some kind of 'Cheer Twilight up from feeling bad about masturbating to Sunset' party. Granted that was probably her own mind just being pessimistic as always, but still.

Timber would no longer speak to her. She wasn't close enough to Sour, Sugarcoat, Sunny, Lemon, or Indigo as she wanted to be. Flash was most CERTAINLY out (she didn't even have his number anyways), and Juniper was not in a state to talk about other people's problems. Starlight wasn't here right now. Princess Twilight was no doubt busy with... Princess-y stuff. She couldn't talk to Spike about it because his canine brain literally couldn't process it as fully as she'd need him to. Her parents were out because that would be too awkward. Shining was, well, her brother, and that would be super awkward.

Although...

Twilight peeked out of the blankets to see that Midnight was indeed gone, at least for now, so she reached for her phone again and scrolled through her contacts for her sister-in-law.

"Hey, are you awake? Send."

Surely Cadance would be down with giving advice, right? She was the first person Twilight had ever come out to as gay, after all, even before she was effectively her guidance counselor at school. There were so many days that Twilight would talk to her for her entire free period about her various fears and insecurities and troubles, and Cadance always had time to offer an ear.

Blip!

'Cadey

Unfortunately, haha! Your brother sure isn't. I've been looking through applications making sure all the information is correct, which is more up your alley than mine :P but yeah, I needed a break anyhow. What's up?'

"I think I did something bad, and then I did something that I know is bad, and I don't really know if I want consoling or guidance. I don't know what I need either."

'Oh no! Are you okay?'

"That's... kind of a loaded question.

I mean.

I'm not in immediate danger."

'That's good to hear. But... what about eventually?'

"I don't know."

'Well, walk me through the problem from the beginning. You always do things best when you put it in chronological order first.'

"Okay, well... you know about my crush on Sunset Shimmer, right?"

'I do now.

(Cute3)'

"Well, I was just helping Rarity with web design today. Sort of. I helped her make a blog. But when she was gone I was clicking around and I found another blog with a lot of pictures of really pretty girls in lingerie and naked and kissing other girls and stuff."

'And... is this a problem, exactly? Seems like something that'd be right up your alley ;)'

"Omg .

Well, one of the pictures on there was Sunset. And... she was naked too."

'...ah.'

"Rarity walked in the room right as I saw that picture but she didn't know I saw it. After she took me home, I kinda... went to find it again. And then I... you know."

'So you're feeling guilty about pleasuring yourself to a nude picture of somebody you have a lot of very strong feelings for? Twilight, honey, you don't need to feel bad about yourself over that. Lots of people do this; men and women, straight and gay, and everybody in between!'

"Well I did it twice. But... it feels like a violation of privacy. If I didn't click around on Rarity's blog, I wouldn't have found that one, if I hadn't clicked exit as soon as I saw it was a sexy blog then I wouldn't have seen the picture, and then... I looked at all the other pictures of Sunset that were on there, and I just feel so gross and dirty, like I raped her or something, because that's kind of what I did!"

'Twilight Sparkle, you didn't do anything wrong :( you're an intelligent, blossoming young teenager satiating your sexual curiosity in a way that doesn't cause anybody else distress. The only thing I really have a problem with is that nude pictures of Sunset exist on the internet. I know she's like a magic pony wizard from another dimension but she's still technically just a teenager. But she did consent to taking and posting those pictures, right? And besides all that, you're still going to respect her the same way you always have. And rape is a lot, LOT different from looking at a picture.'

"But there are plenty of pictures of other girls elsewhere on the internet! And just because she doesn't know doesn't automatically make it okay! What if she does eventually find out and she has a problem with it? Isn't it a violation of privacy to do this behind her back? And I guess you're right about all that, but I still feel gross."

'Well, if that's how you feel, then what were your reasons behind doing it?'

"Well... I didn't really have any reasons besides regular old teenage horniness... I wasn't really in control of myself when I did it either time. It just sort of... happened."

'It sounds to me like you were emotionally compromised by seeing her naked and then it all just fell into place, does that sound right?'

"...yeah."

'The first time I ever saw my crush naked, I broke down crying. He sat there and hugged me and rubbed my back until I was calmed back down again. A girl's first anything is always going to be a big emotional deal, gay straight or bi, and just because I ended up marrying that guy doesn't mean anything. You don't need to feel bad about something that's a) out of your control or b) hurting anybody. And if the not telling Sunset about this feels like lying, or going behind her back or anything, just think about the alternative and how much it could potentially make things weird if you did tell her. There's a rule that your brother told me about that might help you out here, that you can look if you don't make it obvious that you're looking, unless you want them to know that you're looking. I've seen pictures of you guys at the beach and all of you except for Fluttershy were in some really revealing bikinis; surely you took brief sidelong glances but didn't make it obvious that you were doing so and make anybody uncomfortable, right?'

"First of all, gross, I don't wanna hear about my naked brother :P second of all, that's adorable. Third of all, I guess you do have a point because it's just a surge of hormones... and the whole not-hurting-anybody thing makes sense... but isn't it a problem if telling the truth is the bad thing to do? And I mean... yeah, I did... and it felt really nice to hug them because all the skin on skin contact triggered a huge release of oxytocin which felt wonderful... and also because other girls' boobs just feel nice in general, haha... especially Pinkie's. I could talk to Rainbow Dash about that, it might make me feel a little bit better. But I just... I don't know. Maybe I should sleep on this and think about it again in the morning?"

'Sorry, but now I know how to get under your skin, muahahaha!

And thanks :3

I always have a point, silly filly. But think about Christmas, when we tell kids about Santa. That's not bad even though it's a lie, because telling them that magic isn't real is really upsetting. (Even though I know that magic is real, especially considering the magic pony wizard dimension, but you know what I mean.)

AWWW333

That definitely sounds like a good idea. It sounds like you had a long, stressful day and should get some shuteye. Is there anything else you want to talk about?'

"...no, I think that's it. Thanks for listening to me Cadey."

'It's no problem sweetie, I always have time for you :) but alas, these papers are calling my name. Sweet dreams, Twilight!'

"Good night!"

Click!

b"How charming and sentimental."/b

"I have to go to sleep."

b"Don't you have to ask Rainbow Dash something?"/b

"...fine. But then I need to go immediately to sleep so I can do my homework in the morning because isome/ibody kept me from doing it tonight."

b"You watch your tone with me. You're lucky I don't drive you to make a cut that won't stop bleeding... and that I want to watch you suffer for a long, long time. I'll forgive you this time because you're tired. Nighty night..."/b And with that, Midnight went into the closet, and shut the door behind her.

Twilight threw her still not being worn pajamas at the door, but she missed. She returned her attention to her phone and tapped out a question to Rainbow.

"I actually have another question about when we went on our trip to the beach house. Did you, you know... out of the corner of your eye kinda glance around at our bikinis and stuff? Send."

She answered almost immediately.

'Rainbow

cant talk right now. am on phone with fluttershy. panic attack. can talk later. maybe tomorrow.'

Twilight sighed before reaching over, plugging her phone into its charger, setting her glasses on her nightstand, and nestling deeper into her bed. She laid awake for about an hour that seemed like two minutes before eventually drifting off. She didn't have any dreams, sweet or otherwise.

RING!

RING!

RING!

RING!

After not nearly enough sleep, Twilight woke up to her alarm clock going off. She snaked her arm over and clicked the snooze button before groggily contemplating just going back to sleep again for another eight minutes and fifty or so seconds. Fortunately, logic prevailed, as she would just wake up a little more bitter later than now, and she picked up her phone.

No new messages.

She set it back down before turning to face the ceiling and wiping the corners of her eyes of grit. She smelled bacon; dad's home. Gently folding back the violet comforter, Twilight reached into her side table drawer for her geode. Once it was in her grasp she reached towards her discarded pajamas and levitated them to her bed. She dropped the gem and began quickly putting the clothes on, excited to greet her parents for the first time in a few days.

Too quickly, unfortunately, as she accidentally bumped her wrist and hissed in pain. Slowly now, she put them on the rest of the way, actually being careful this time, as the memories of the previous night flooded in. Rarity, Sunset, Midnight, Flash, Rainbow, Cadance. A part of her regretted not telling her sister-in-law that she was getting bad again, but at the same time things had never been this bad before and she didn't want to worry anybody. Especially not her family.

Twilight was careful to slip on a hoodie, Rainbow's old one actually, that she'd given her back when they were dating. She hadn't asked for it to be returned so it had stayed with Twilight. It was dark blue, closer to cobalt than navy, fleece-lined, and best of all... pockets! It wasn't exactly baggy at the sleeves, so she did have to pull it a bit so she didn't push off the gauze. Luckily this meant it would probably stay covering the evidence of her self mutilation a lot more easily than her jumper. Sunset almost saw yesterday; that was too close.

Plus, now her parents were back in the house. It wasn't too much of a problem the past few days, being alone. But now Twilight had to be extra careful hiding it. Nobody knew, or at least she hoped that nobody knew. Not her friends, not her family, not Cadance. They couldn't know. She could take care of this herself, and they didn't need to worry about her. Creator knew she overloaded them with her problems often enough these days.

Casting aside these thoughts, Twilight made her way downstairs. She briefly had a thought that she was forgetting something, but shrugged it off. She didn't eat last night and thus was feeling absolutely ravenous. If this were some piece of young adults fictional literature her stomach would be growling, but everybody knows that that sound is caused by peristalsis, which occurs [i]after[/i] eating.

Twilight of course knew that her short term memory wasn't the best when she was hungry, yet she frequently went long periods without food. It was pathetic, really; pretty much every single one of her problems could easily be solved by simply changing just one small thing somewhere else in her life. Alas, there were more important things to do, like keeping up on studies and making sure not to just stop responding to her friends' texts... and keeping up on hygiene, she added, as she felt her dry tongue against the roof of her mouth.

b"Good morning..."/b

Twilight ignored Midnight as she made her way into the kitchen. There awaiting her was her father at the stove with a sizzling skillet chatting amicably with her mother, standing against the sink with a coffee mug. They seemed more jovial than usual, but something seemed slightly off. Perhaps they were groggy from jet lag?

"Hi mom," she greeted. "Hi dad."

"Hey!" boomed Night Light. "If it's not our favorite little girl!"

"Oh, Twilight," Velvet cooed. "How are you this morning?"

Twilight's eyes flashed between them for a moment. Something was up.

"A little tired," she replied. It wasn't untruthful. "But I'm glad to see that you guys are home safe! How was the flight?"

"Oh, it was just fine," he answered. "They got us here, with [i]flying[/i] colors!"

"Dad."

"It was certainly late," Velvet continued, "But it was no different than the rest were. We're almost at our frequent flyers goal, so that's exciting!"

Twilight nodded. "I can imagine." Her mom's hands were shaking slightly. One of the bacon strips was twisted over on itself. This wasn't jet lag. "How many days are you staying this time?"

"Trying to get rid of us, eh?" He asked, winking. His eyes briefly glanced slightly down. "Planning any wild parties this weekend?"

"If you are then you should absolutely invite us along," she continued. "Because we'll be here for almost a full week if you can believe that. Until Sunday!" She took a sip of coffee and almost missed.

"I don't know how wild it is," Twilight said. "But there is one later today. Pinkie's celebrating my coming to school here for two and a half years." Their smiles weren't reaching their eyes. "And it's not really a party but we're getting together on Saturday. We should do something Friday night, if that works?"

"Of course!" Night Light cried. "It's been so long since the three of us did something together." He turned to poke at the meat with a spatula. Weird, as you're supposed to use tongs.

"We'll have to come up with something by then, but we'd love to spend some time with our favorite daughter!" Velvet bit her lip, as she stared at the stove. "No offense to Cadey, of course."

"...right."

An uncomfortable silence settled in as if nobody knew what else to say. Nervous, fake smiles all around, Twilight noticed the mess in the sink. There were a dozen wooden spoons, whisks, tongs, and other assorted utensils tossed in haphazardly.

'Oh yeah,' she remembered. 'I made a mess and didn't clean it up. Well, too late now...'

"Well, I have to get ready for school now, and I probably won't be back until late evening."

"At least eat some breakfast with us," Night Light said, halting her in mid-awkward-step. "Please. We don't get to see you that often."

"Well..." she defended, before figuring there was no harm in doing so. The damage had already been done. "All right."

The family sat and ate; bacon and eggs for the adults, and reheated pizza for the teenager. She wasn't exactly what one would call vegan, not like Fluttershy, but Twilight wasn't a huge fan of a lot of meats, or eggs, or dairy products (though that last bit is more because she's lactose intolerant than anything else).

They made small talk; how is school, how is work, what zany antics are crazy old Pinkie up to. Twilight couldn't shake the general sense of unease pervading the atmosphere, despite the apparent positive mood her parents were in. Surely they weren't that upset about the mess; they didn't even bring it up. Maybe they just assumed that gravity did it? But that didn't explain the mood.

It was palpable, but Twilight couldn't quite put her finger on what exactly was up. Midnight was being suspiciously quiet too. They couldn't have known her activities the previous night, right? No, this had to be something else. She continued to rack her brains for the remainder of the meal before it got to be the time that she absolutely had to leave without being late.

The family bid farewell to each other as Twilight headed upstairs quickly, but not too quickly. On the lowest step sat Midnight, grinning smugly for some reason or another. Twilight ignored her. She was just trying to get in her head, psyche her out. Well it wasn't going to work. Today was going to be a good day.

She entered her room, closing and instinctually locking the door behind her. She carefully took the hoodie off before removing her outer clothes. For only a brief moment her eyes went to the computer screen. She bit her lip. It would be prudent to get rid of the browser window in case her parents randomly decided to snoop. Which they wouldn't. But...

Twilight wiggled the mouse, brought up the window, and only hesitated for a few seconds before closing the window. There, now it was gone forever. She shut it down before striding over to her dresser and pulling out her outfit for the day. Jeans and a white t-shirt, nothing too special.

After dressing and reapplying the hoodie, she glanced briefly at the full length mirror in the corner between her bed and closet, not giving it any attention other than a once-over of her body. Eh. She shrugged and then put on a pair of shoes before walking back to her bed and rifling through her purse to make sure she had everything she needed for the day. Satisfied, she slung it over her shoulder before heading into the bathroom.

She stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she saw her reflection.

b"Forget something?"/b Midnight taunted.

Twilight brought her fingers up to her neck, under the crimson scratch that had been left there. She didn't cover it up before talking to her parents! And it looked worse. There were a few thin rivulets of dried blood leaking out the sides as well.

"...damn it..." Twilight cursed as she dug in the sink for the peroxide and cotton swabs. She had to use the last of the chemical to clean off, and then she turned to see the concealer. Well, at least Midnight was slow and methodical enough to be polite like that.

After plunking the bottle into the trash can between the sink and toilet, she began applying the purple makeup the way Rarity had showed her to. After a minute, it was sufficiently blended and looked good as new. There was of course a little bump, but you could only really see it if you were looking for it and were close enough to do so.

After that was eyeliner and mascara, then she brushed her teeth and hair, and then came the application of antiperspirant and body fragrance. After a once-over, everything seemed to be in working order, so she turned to head downstairs. She ignored Midnight and headed straight out the front door.

Today was going to be a good day. It better be.

/x/x/x/

Today was going to be an absolutely awful day!

Sunset and Fluttershy had overslept through their alarm, and frantically crammed an hour's worth of getting ready into about ten minutes. They were both groggy from the lack of sleep as well as the stress of dealing with what had happened last night.

Fluttershy had stayed the night over at Sunset's apartment because her brother was staying at her parents, and she absolutely hated being around Zephyr (though she would never admit it). Everything had been totally fine: they had a nice dinner, watched a movie, and headed to bed at a reasonable hour. Then the night terrors happened, which triggered a panic attack that including the comedown lasted for nearly two hours.

Sunset had immediately called Rainbow Dash, who was luckily still awake, and she had taken care of what she needed to, and when everything was calm again, Fluttershy had needed consoling (which Sunset was more than willing to offer). This lead to them falling asleep a lot later than usual, which lead to them waking slightly later than usual, which now had them on Sunset's bike breaking the speed limit on the way to school.

Luckily no police officers or idiot pedestrians were in the area, and the pair made it in record time.

Rarity's car was at the very back of the lot, as always. Applejack's truck was at the very front, also as always. Fluttershy and Pinkie's cars were at their respective houses, and the last remaining members of their group didn't drive. Sunset parked next to the scarlet rustbucket before tossing her helmet in the back of the pickup. Fluttershy gently set her own down on top of it.

The moment the bell rang, they had made it in, and began the day.

The morning classes passed uneventfully; Sunset and Rainbow Dash chatted in machine shop, she copied off of Pinkie's notes in history much to Rarity's disapproval, and she let Applejack copy off of her own notes in biology. But when she was in psychology with Twilight...

"Hey."

She jumped, and turned around. For just a brief moment, Twilight had looked panicked and fearful, but it went away immediately. "Hey Sunset," she intoned, adjusting her glasses. "Ice to see you."

Sunset's eyes narrowed. "Har dee har," she muttered darkly before grinning at the pun. "Don't be mean, I was actually freaking out a little bit."

"I'm sorry," she replied. "I'm just having a little bit of fun."

"You've got too much Rainbow Dash in you now."

Twilight smiled at this, but the teacher began speaking.

"Good morning class, today we'll be turning to page one seventh six and begin reading the section out loud. Be sure to pay attention, as it will be very important, and will most certainly be on the exam. Miss Shimmer, why don't you start us off?"

"Alright, might as well," she began before clearing her throat. "Schizophrenia is a disabling, chronic, and severe mental illness that affects more than 21 million people around the world. Symptoms include hearing internal voices, having false beliefs, disorganized thoughts and behavior, being emotionally flat, and having hallucinations..."

Thus was another day in psychology class. Sunset didn't mind the droning too particularly. There really wasn't much talk of psychology in Equestria, as they just used magic to make everything better. Here though, it was a lot more complicated, and it cost a lot of money to take care of things like this. It seemed unfair, but that was culture shock for you.

She really learned a lot of interesting things here. She knew enough about "hard sciences" as they were simply the foundation to magic back home, but these "soft sciences" were an entirely new field, and she loved hearing about things like it.

Take this one, for example, schizophrenia. There were hallucinations and delusions, monotoned speech, executive dysfunction, problems with attention and memory, paranoia, all sorts of things that could be symptoms of other things as well, like severe clinical depression and attention deficit disorder. That was incredibly interesting to Sunset, but she noticed that Twilight didn't seem to care as much.

Twilight wasn't one for 'soft science'. She believed in 'empirical evidence over unprovable theory after theory after theory'. That probably explained why she went after researching magic the way that she did before they had ever met. Still, Sunset couldn't change Twilight's opinions and beliefs, merely disagree with them. Which was fine! That was the beauty of fluid academic fields. Magic, however, that was different...

Sunset tried not to think about how she behaved back in Equestria. She knew she'd have to go back one day, and fix her mistakes. But for now, she'd continue learning about the magic of friendship under guidance of Twilight. The, uh. The other one. The pony. Yeah, that was still confusing.

Sunset continued to read. Indifference in intense situations, worsening academic performance, change in appearance and personality, social isolation, insomnia, an obsession with the occult, and irrational behaviors of anger and fear directed towards loved ones. Fascinating.

"Very good, Sunset," the teacher finally said after she had plowed through nearly the full section. "But perhaps let's let another student have a turn?"

"Uh... sure," she nervously giggled. "Sorry."

"It's nothing to apologize about," he replied. "But be careful or you'll end up surpassing Twilight."

"I doubt that, sir," Sunset joked, causing a few of the other students laughed. She glanced at Twilight but she was gazing out the window, absentmindedly doodling what seemed to be... wait, was that Midni-

"That reminds me, Miss Sparkle," the teacher said, interrupting Sunset's thought. I'd like to speak to you after class."

Twilight shrugged in response.

"I'll... take that as a yes then. Would you like to continue where we left off?"

She sighed. "Not particularly..." she muttered just loudly enough for Sunset to overhear. "Sure. Where was that again?"

Sunset bit her lip. Twilight seemed upset about something... she'd have to talk to her after class on the way to lunch.

The rest of the class passed fairly uneventfully. They read through the chapter, then did some fill in the blank worksheet that was apparently supposed to teach them something. Sunset plowed through it in record time but noticed that Twilight had completely ignored it, and was instead scrolling through her phone.

"Hey, Twi-"

"Please put your electronic devices away!" The teacher mutedly exclaimed. "You can use them on your time, not on my time."

Twilight sighed again and dropped it into her purse before she set her forehead down on the desk and wrapped her arms around it. Although she placed them in a weird position, where instead of crossing her wrists it was further up her arm. It looked painful.

"Twilight," Sunset said again.

"Hm?"

"Are you feeling all right?"

Shrug.

"Are you sick?"

"...cramps."

Oh. That explained the somewhat uncharacteristic outfit.

"I hate when that happens," Sunset sympathized. "But at least class is almost over. And, worst comes to worst, we could just postpone the party again, Pinkie would understand."

"I'll be fine." She quickly responded. "I'm just... not feeling it right now."

Sunset placed a comforting hand on Twilight's back, but she shirked away from the contact and sat straight up, with that same look of panic and fear. It passed in a moment again, and she turned to face Sunset.

"Sorry," she murmured. "I... I'm a little emotional from yesterday. Rarity and I talked about some stuff that I needed to talk about. It's nothing to do with you, I just..."

Sunset nodded. "I get it. Just tell me what I can do when I can do it and I'll help you, okay?"

"...okay."

"Miss Sparkle," the teacher intoned. "Since you have enough time to chat now, do you mind too terribly having that conversation with me now?"

She shrugged, pulled herself up by her elbows, and strode up. Sunset tried not to eavesdrop but she couldn't help but hear, senses sharpened by the remnants of magic in her blood. She reminded herself to buy some earplugs before the next band practice because that was almost painful.

Apparently Twilight's grades were slipping slightly. She was still making As, but they were 94s and 95s rather than 100s. He was concerned for her. She indicated that there was a personal issue going on, and he returned that as long as she was taking care of herself it would be okay.

Sunset remembered a while back, when the girls had all shared their grades at a party. Twilight went first, and had nearly broken down crying because she had a B+. She bit her lip again. Hopefully she was doing okay. Twilight had been acting really weird for a few weeks now, and slightly weird for a few months.

Sunset glanced at the still open notebook on Twilight's desk. Yeah, that was most certainly Midnight Sparkle. Which was strange: Midnight had been gone since Camp Everfree. Was Twilight having an episode of dwelling on what she had perceived as mistakes of the past? If that was it, then it would at least be a little easier to start with since Sunset herself had needed a little help at first too.

Twilight sat back down. Her face was impassively neutral. It was either guilt, or whatever it was that she talked to Rarity about.

Sunset slipped her phone out and was going to ask Rarity about it.

"No devices!"

...at lunch.

/x/x/x/


End file.
